Making Memories
by lnkmstr10
Summary: What do you do when the girl you're in love with can't remember that she's in love with some one else? What if you could do things differently this time? Quinn is about to learn how fate and second chances collide, and how memories are only as good as the person they're made with.
1. Chapter 1

_I'm back! I got inspired to write this while reading a story that had memory loss as a focus. I'm sure this has been done before, but I'm doing my take on it, so hopefully I can provide a unique spin on it. This is my first Faberry fic, and I'm as nervous as I am excited. **Reviews are greatly appreciated and I thank you all for taking the time to read this**. I promise it won't be as confusing as my last story, and I apologize to those who have read "Dream" and the first chapter is messed up. I will eventually fix it, but I can't find my original so it's hard to fix. Also, any discrepancies with the show are probably not intended. My timeline might be off, like where Sam is concerned, but for this purpose Quinn and Rachel are seniors, Sam is back, Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury are not together, and Shelby is not at the school anymore. __Anyway, enough about that. I bring you the first chapter. No promises on an update schedule, or length.___

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or anything associated with it. No profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.**_

* * *

**Chapter 1  
**

She's all for second chances.

Not necessarily a redo, but a chance to make herself better. Her pregnancy, for starters. She'd never take back having Beth, but she was given a second chance after giving her up, and she's making the most of it. Well...sort of.

Her priorities have changed. It's a bit unrealistic, in a sense, to say she's grown up so much after having a child, but she can't lie and say that it hasn't changed how she thinks and feels about, well, everything.

At seventeen, she can look back and see who she was, and see how thankful she is to have had the moment of clarity (even if it included sex with Puck) to see what path she was going down.

She's not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. She's still quickly annoyed, though can you blame her? -she does spend every day watching Finn attempt to learn simple dance moves. She still feels her stomach turn over whenever she passes by the classroom Shelby and the Trouble Tones used before, a mixture of fear and hatred and envy dancing together in one big bottle of emotion. Quinn doesn't think that feeling will ever pass.

She still walks down the hallway, wanting to be able to ignore the looks and the feeling of needing to impress everyone sending those glances. She still hides behind books and eye rolls and glares, wondering if there really is only one person (two including Santana, who just really couldn't care less) who dares to look through her facade.

She's still-

"Just a bit sharp."

Quinn smiles to herself. She guesses that hasn't changed, either.

"I wish I had something sharp," comes the predictably swift and lame comeback from Santana.

"But other than that, it was quiet lovely, Quinn," Rachel assures her with a friendly smile.

_That _is something that has changed; Rachel offering compliments with her criticism.

Quinn smiling from it, even inwardly; that's new, too.

It's something that's as surprising as it is dangerous. It's the whole reason she's avoided a friendship with Rachel. Fear. This fear of the unknown.

All her other relationships, romantic and not, have been predictable. They've been comforting in their boringness- though her "friendship" with Santana is hardly ever boring with trying to predict what new insult the brunette will have next. Finn, Sam, Cheerios, they all were to lead her to something she wanted, necessary stepping stones to whatever goal she had in her sights.

But Rachel...Rachel and Quinn's path is unknown, because she's never allowed her mind to travel down that road, one that she never allowed to exist, and now that she's the New Quinn, it's something that seems more and more likely the longer the school year goes on.

Unfortunately, with Rachel, comes all of Rachel. And with all of Rachel comes her obsessions; dancing, Glee, music in general, and, worst of all her obsessions, Finn. Losing their competition because of a lame, totally inappropriate kiss should have sent Rachel into overdrive anger mode – well, whatever the Rachel Berry version of that would be – but instead, she was upset for a bit until the quarterback took her out on a date.

Quinn surmises it must have been one hell of a romantic date to make up for losing, but whatever it was, they are now back together and more sickening than ever. Rachel has very little patience while instructing others in Glee, but Finn's two left feet go by unnoticed. His one tone singing inspires eye rolls from the rest of the group but tears from Rachel..._and Mr. Schue_, Quinn snickers to herself.

But it really shouldn't matter. These should all be things piled on top of the list of why she shouldn't want to be friends with Rachel, but they aren't. These are just challenges for Quinn's competitive spirit to overcome. Reasons for her to prove everyone wrong and to answer Rachel's long standing question of "Why can't we be friends?"

But she knows why. She might not fully understand it, but she knows why a friendship is a horrible, horrible idea. She knows why her stomach sinks when it's time for Glee. Why every duet causes her to bitterly huff and bring out a book to read. Why she avoids Santana's stupid glances every time Rachel gets up and sings.

She also knows why it's so easy to give in to Rachel, after years of being so strong. Because even when she was horrible to Rachel, she was so drawn to her, so focused on her.

Quinn sometimes wishes she could go back to when she had herself convinced it was simple dislike.

* * *

Glee finishes with another (lame) pep talk from Mr. Schuester, who seems to be staring at Finn the whole time.

Quinn hides her smile when she hears Santana whisper to Brittany about his man crush on the giant. She said she's _trying_ to be better, not that she's a saint. Plus, Santana has a point. She looks from Schue to Rachel, imagining what type of throw down there would be to compete for Finn's attention. Who is she kidding, there'd be no throw down, just a sing off. And probably a dance off. And maybe piano playing. Maybe Mr. Schue would rap.

Great, now she just snorted.

Rachel looks up at her, a light smile on her face, obviously a sign that she's curious about what has tickled Quinn. Not wanting to incite a lecture on why Finn is worthy of everyone's affection – and Quinn is sure Rachel has such a lecture prepared – she just shakes her head and looks away. It's annoying that she feels the disappointment from Rachel. It's more annoying when she see's Finn's arm come around Rachel in comfort and Rachel lean into it.

It's better when she sees Santana throw a jolly rancher at Finn.

"Santana!" he says loudly, rubbing his head.

"Finnept?" Santana calls back lazily.

"Why'd you throw that at me?" he demands angrily, glaring at her.

She leans back in her chair. "Automatically assuming it's the Hispanic. That's a bit racist."

Mercedes' ears perk up, and she looks at Finn sharply. "What's this about you being racist?"

"I'm not!" he says in exasperation, looking around wildly for support. "I love Michael Jackson songs." He stops and looks at Rachel. "Wait, is he black?"

Rachel's eyes widen, though Quinn isn't sure if it's in shock over Finn being so stupid as to think that explanation makes things better or him being stupid to open his mouth at all. Probably both.

"Finn," Rachel says softly, sighing lowly. "Yes, he was black. And we know you aren't racist. Santana is just messing with you."

"We know you treat everyone equal," Mr. Schue says in support, smiling widely.

"Just like you, Mr. Schue," Santana mumbles sarcastically.

Quinn finds herself enjoying today's Glee class suddenly. Even with the Sonny and Cher duet they all were forced to witness Rachel and Finn preform.

Mr. Schue dismisses them shortly after, with words about preparing songs, but Quinn blocks it out, knowing it's the same thing each day. Instead she busies herself with gathering her things, taking extra care to put her book into her bookbag as she keeps an eye trained on the front row of seats.

"I promise I'm not a racist," Finn says quietly to Rachel, looking around to see if Mercedes or Santana are nearby.

Rachel's shoulders lift slightly, but other than that she doesn't seem to be affected. "I know, Finn."

"I just don't want you to think I have a problem with your Dad...you know, because he's black." The boy leans in closer as he says this, and Quinn's eyes widen as she watches him, wondering how his brain could possibly be sending such stupid signals to his mouth.

"Or because he's gay," he continues in the same low tone.

Quinn doesn't even pretend to be interested in fiddling with her things, she's watching Rachel's reaction, praising the girl for being able to put up with that much stupidity in such large quantities, especially all at once.

"Okay, Finn," the captain says, offering the boy a smile, probably in lieu of kicking his teeth in like most normal people would be considering doing.

"Okay, good," Finn says, now back in his normal happy-go-lucky voice. His face splits in a wide grin and he picks up Rachel's bag and leans down and kisses her loudly.

Quinn finds her focus shifting suddenly, wishing she would have left as soon as Glee had ended. She becomes so focused on leaving that she almost misses Rachel stepping in front of her.

"- if you're interested."

The blonde looks up, giving Rachel a strange look at the confusing words. "What?"

Rachel looks down shyly, obviously not expecting to have to repeat herself. Apparently her courage was only good for one delivery. "I um..I said I could help you with your pitch sometime...i-if you are interested." Seeing the unchanging expression on Quinn's face, she quickly back peddles. "But not that you desperately need it. I mean you are a _tad _sharp, but it's not really noticeable, just to me since I have such advanced training, so..."

Both girls breathe when Rachel finally shuts up. "Um..." Quinn looks around, eyes landing on Finn watching them intently, and it's his strong gaze that makes her mind up. "Sure," she says finally, obviously shocking Rachel, who was probably expecting a much harsher answer.

Rachel takes a few seconds to process the cheerleaders agreement, but soon her bright smile appears. "Okay. Good. That's good," she says nervously. "I'll give you my number, and we can set a time to meet to work together."

They exchange numbers, and Quinn has never been so glad to be just a tad bit sharp.

"Come on, Rach," Finn interrupts. "My parents won't be home until six..." he drops off, completely unsubtly, and just like most things where Finn is involved, her happiness is short lived.

She watches Rachel, hoping the brunette will tell Finn that she can't, or that she doesn't want to be alone with him, or that she's moved on to at least partially evolved species. But she doesn't, and Quinn has come to expect this now.

She expects the drop in her stomach now, too.

She expects that nothing will change with her and Rachel.

But she doesn't expect to be so wrong.

She doesn't expect that she won't get to meet up with Rachel for practice.

She doesn't expect that things are about to completely change.


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks so much for all the follows and favorites so far. I was hoping for more reviews, but you have to start somewhere, right? I'm trying to get on somewhat of an established updating schedule, but real life has a way of changing things, so we shall see. The story will pick up, so no worries about that friends. Also, I'm trying to make longer chapters as well!  
_

* * *

**Chapter 2  
**

Quinn doesn't pay attention to the mutterings around school anymore. Her pregnancy built her up a sort of immunity, a way to tune into a different frequency. So when she passes down the hall to her locker, she doesn't pick up on the talk.

It isn't until Santana and Brittany appear in front of her that she's brought up to speed.

"Did you hear about Berry?" Santana asks without a greeting, though this isn't unusual.

"Let me guess, Finn upset her?" Quinn says, bored. This is also not unusual.

"I'm being serious." And she looks it, too, and this causes Quinn to pay attention.

"No, what?" She tries to down play her curiosity.

"She got in a wreck." Brittany says in her normal blunt tone, though still in that gentle Brittany way.

"What?" Quinn says loudly, causing many people to stare at them. She wonders if the two Cheerios can see her organs dropping to her feet.

Brittany steps closer to her and bumps her side against Quinn's. It's a silent show of support, one Quinn appreciates. "Yeah, her and Finn were going to his house and he ran into a mailbox."

Quinn would laugh at that if her mind wasn't repeating the same words over and over again. She wants to ask more questions, but she thinks she might vomit if she opens her mouth.

"Or maybe the mailbox ran into him," Brittany says thoughtfully. "It might have been crossing the road."

Quinn breathes out a shaky laugh.

"No, B, Hudson totally took it out from the sidewalk. Obviously distracted. Wonder what Berry was doing to make him- what?" Santana says as Quinn stares at her.

The Cheerio captain can't believe how nonchalant, even for Santana, they both are talking about this accident. She doesn't even know if they are okay. She doesn't want to think about what had Finn occupied, and she definitely doesn't want to think about what has happened to the captains.

"And Rachel and Finn?" Quinn manages to say, fearing the answer.

"Oh, they're fine," Brittany says brightly, like Quinn is silly for suggesting otherwise. Quinn's whole body sighs in relief. "Well except Rachel lost her memory."

And just like that she's tense again. "What? Britt, that's kind of a huge deal! Is it permanent? Any injuries? Is she conscious? " She knows she's overwhelming poor Brittany, but now that she's spoken, the dam has been broken, and she can't seem to stop.

The tall blonde looks scared, and she quickly shifts towards Santana, who takes over for her. "Don't know yet. About her memory. This is all from Kurt, who was at the hospital last night. He didn't seem worried though. Finn's okay, too," she adds with a significant look at Quinn, who steadily avoids eye contact. "Look, if you want more information, go ask Kurt. Or better yet, go to the hospital. I'm sure you'll have no problem finding Berry's room. It's probably the one with the gold star...or just follow the show tunes."

Quinn feels much better, knowing it can't be too serious if Santana is back to her cynical self. She just needs to think of a way to get Kurt to spill details without it seeming as if she's too interested. Thankfully, she knows just how to get information.

* * *

"Doesn't remember anything," Mercedes says.

Okay, so maybe Mercedes is a cop out, but she's getting what she wants, without having to go to the hospital and see Rachel lying in the bed in the pristine room. She doesn't want to see the blankness, not when she's come to associate Rachel with being so lively.

"It's really sad," the girl continues, and despite the heated diva-offs that occur between the strong singers, Quinn knows Mercedes' words are genuine.

"And poor Finn. He's been by her side ever since he got released. He feels horrible, obviously. And poor Rachel, can't remember him. And you can tell she wants to be left alone, but obviously he wants to be there for her."

Quinn can understand that, from both of them. She's simultaneously glad and regretful that she didn't go visit.

"So you saw her?" Quinn asks, trying to prod more information out of her.

"Yeah. We thought maybe singing would help her remember, you know." Mercedes looks down for a moment. "I think it just overwhelmed her, honestly. It was Finn, Kurt, me, Sam, her dads, and Finn's parents."

She's trying not to only ask about Rachel, but now that she knows that Finn isn't hurt, she can't seem to focus on anything else. "When will sh-_they _be back?"

Mercedes shrugs, and Quinn's never been so frustrated with the girl's lack of news. "From what Kurt said, they'll be back to school in a few days. The doctors are optimistic it'll help spark Rachel's memories."

The blonde recognizes the signs of Mercedes' information ending. But really, of all the times for Mercedes to not have any more gossip. She mentally begins her countdown till Rachel's return.

"She'll be fine," the black girl states, casting a quick, undecipherable look towards Quinn and walking away before she can ask what Mercedes means.

Quinn sighs and walks to collect her things to head home, wondering how she's going to distract herself to pass the time until the girl comes back.

As she tries to go to sleep that night, she stares at the ceiling, running through scenario after scenario of what things will be like when Rachel does return, but her mind refuses to process Rachel coming back and not being, well, Rachel.

"I'll say a little prayer for you," she sings softly to the night, and then closes her eyes and does just that, knowing she'll spend another night dreaming of Rachel.

* * *

This time, when Quinn walks down the main hallway, she listens intently for any talk. She's resisted asking Mercedes for more information. Barely.

It's only been a day since she found out, and she can already tell how different it is. It makes her mad when it seems like most of the people carry on normally. It's only in Glee that the other members seem to notice. The mood is somber, and even Mr. Schue doesn't seem able to provide comfort, lame as it usually is.

It feels wrong to sing without Rachel there, and even though Artie was assigned a song a week ago, it's lackluster and echoes inside the quiet classroom. Even Puck, who usually is making nasty come-ons to all of the girls, is silent. Two minutes into Artie's song, and Puck is out the door, and they all know he isn't coming back today.

Quinn has never wanted a day to end so much, even during her pregnancy, and that's a detail that replays in her mind. She's even willing to put up with Finn and Rachel's love show if it means having some sense of predictability in Glee. The only normal thing is seeing Brittany and Santana being so obvious, but that does little to comfort Quinn.

* * *

Glee Club ends with audible relief, and when Mr. Schue tells them as they leave that they should prepare a song for Rachel and Finn for when they come back to school, Quinn wants to scream at him and ask him in what world he thinks that would be appropriate.

The curly haired man never did seem to pick up on detail, which is probably why he's such a kindred spirit with Finn. And also why his marriage failed, and his attempted relationship with Ms. Pillsbury, and his own singing career, and wow, Quinn feels much better about her life.

She follows Santana and Brittany to the brunette's house, after several promises that they won't make out (_or at least keep it to a minimum, _Santana smirks).

"I wonder how Rachel is doing?" Brittany says as they sit in the living room, watching music videos so Brittany can practice her dancing.

"I'm sure she's fine," Santana offers, sounding surprisingly reassuring.

"Yeah, but how is she eating?"

Quinn looks at her in surprise. "You mean because she's vegan?"

"Huh?" Brittany asks at the same time Santana says, "You remember that?" which causes Quinn to blush.

"She only eats vegetables?" the dancer asks, looking at Santana for explanation. "Is that why she's so tiny?"

Santana snorts softly. "No, B, she's so tiny because she's a dwarf." Quinn rolls her eyes. "And vegan means she doesn't eat things from animals. Right, Quinn?"

Eager to ignore the jibe, Quinn looks to the other blonde. "Why would you ask how she's eating?"

"She can't remember how. So are they, like, using baby food?"

The Latina looks to her friend with so much adoration that Quinn actually has to look away. "She remembers stuff like that, Britt. Like how to walk and talk...and probably sing like a freaking bird. She just doesn't remember who she is, probably."

"Oh, okay." Brittany says happily. "I was worried she'd have to have help eating when she got back. And taking her to the bathroom...That would probably be awkward."

Santana and Quinn laugh at that, knowing Brittany knows they aren't laughing at her. It's moments like this that Quinn's thankful to have these two as friends. She's always glad to have Brittany, and, in small doses, Santana. She thinks of earlier Cheerio days, practicing routines together, and sleep overs, when it seemed the only thing that mattered was getting to the top. When times were simpler and less real.

She watches her friends lock eyes, and despite the feelings they have for each other, she knows they sometimes wish for when things were simpler too, when feelings were being discovered and could be hidden under layers of confidence and lies. When the only people who knew the truth were the very same people who were trying just as hard to live the lies.

But then there's other times, when she's alone with her pen and her thoughts, that she's so glad that the lies fall away, even if only on paper, and her hand translates the words of her heart. When feelings and secrets take shape and become letters, and letters become a word. And a word becomes a name. A name becomes a confession.

And Quinn just knows that, somehow, those words lift off of the page and fly miles away, slipping underneath a door with a gold star on it where they will take rest.


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks for my reviews, loves :) I was hoping to have this posted Sunday, but being an adult isn't all it's cracked up to be at times, especially when I want free time and don't seem to have any.  
_

_A few people have mentioned they like my version of Quinn, and to that I say, "I'm glad!" I try to put a little bit of myself into my the characters, and also how I feel they would be if we did get inside their head, so Quinn is sarcastic and witty, and also insecure like any other teenager, and especially any other teenager with confusing feelings for some one._

* * *

**Chapter 3  
**

Finn is back. If that isn't a tease, Quinn doesn't know what is. She can't get close to him to hear about Rachel, and she'd never directly ask him. The quarterback is suddenly Mr. Popular because he (stupidly) plowed into a mailbox. Quinn will never understand this school.

In the boys defense, while he does seem to enjoy the attention, she can tell his mind (well the small, small amount of his mind that there is) is still with Rachel, wherever she is. The blonde hates that she can't hate him for it, because as much as she dislikes Finn, it is obvious how much he cares for Rachel...even if he doesn't treat her right half of the time – not that she's paying attention or anything.

The frustrating part is that the one time she really wants to talk to Finn, she can't. Girls are fawning, boys are teasing, teachers are inquiring, and Quinn really, really, just wants to scream '_shut up!_' to every single one of them.

She's relieved when the bell rings and she only has three hours until Glee, where she knows co-gossip queen Mercedes will do the dirty work for her and ask about Rachel. She just hopes Kurt and Mercedes haven't already talked about it, though the blonde doubts that they won't have more to say on the subject.

The teacher hands back quiz grades, laying them face down to hide the grade, though Mr. Perry knows very well they don't stay secret very long. Quinn lifts hers enough to see the red ninety-eight before she drops it back down. She can't help but glance to the seat two rows to her left to watch Finn lift his quiz.

She catches the sixty percent in the top corner, followed by what looks like almost a paragraph of red ink. She snorts lightly and almost immediately feels sick afterward, hating that she can be so petty, even though it really shouldn't surprise her. This is what she's been reduced to; pettiness.

It's a bit embarrassing to see what she's become. The days when she had the power seem to be long gone, and she wonders if this is how all the people who chased after her felt; helpless. Like they were chasing something unobtainable, thinking maybe they would be the one to break through. It's awful, and she decides she doesn't like it one bit, being on the other side for once.

She also decides she doesn't like being jealous of Finn freakin' Hudson. The guy picks his nose for pete's sake! He spelled his own name wrong on the class role one time. Other than being able to sing and sometimes throw a some what decent pass during football, he has nothing going for him.

He's stupid, and no, not endearingly so, like Brittany can be. He can't dance. Not even in the cute, oh, you're just shy, way. He is like an elephant trying to roller skate, and Quinn is probably doing a disservice to elephants.

Finn is demanding and clingy, but also the first person to tell Rachel he should be able to do what he wants. And she can't be friends with other boys, but he can talk to any girl he wants.

Plus, he is just overall...awful! That's all there is to it.

And dammit if Rachel isn't so blinded by her Golden Boy Finn goggles. Quinn thinks they might have had one argument where Rachel seemed to stand up for herself...until Finn promptly dumped her five minutes later. (They were back together a week later).

Which just irks Quinn, because Rachel seems to stand up to her every single time – though if she's being honest, it doesn't bother her in the least, because she loves seeing the passion in Rachel's eyes when they butt heads, even if it's over something small.

So to see Finn seemingly get everything he wants and eat his cake too, it just is not fair. And then he drives into a mailbox, hurting himself and his girlfriend, perhaps permanently, and somehow he's still popular.

She feels her phone vibrate and it snaps her out of her thoughts. A glance down at her screen has her rolling her eyes. It's a message from Santana, and there's no telling what's in the text. The girl's text range from insults to innuendos to anything else Santana could possibly think of – so basically there's no limit.

_Not that I care, but any reason ur staring at doughboy?_

Quinn feels herself flush at being caught, by Santana of all people. Most people would let it go, but the captain knows that despite the text saying Santana doesn't care, the Latina will pester the hell out of Quinn. Fortunately, she knows the best way to avoid that (and piss off the brunette) is to simply ignore the text.

_I kno you read that bitch!_ comes Santana's second message._  
_

Quinn snorts to herself. It was definitely worth it.

* * *

Despite ignoring the other twenty messages from Santana, the girl hasn't given up. The brief period of humor has ended, and Quinn is now faced with a scary realization;

Santana knows something is up.

That's one of the worst epiphanies to have. Quinn ranks it right up there with finding out you're pregnant with your boyfriend's, best friend's baby out of wedlock and having to tell your very strict, religious parents. And that's saying something.

Quinn somehow manages to avoid Santana until Glee, where the Latina forcefully shoves past Sam and Mercedes to plop down quickly in the seat next to the blonde.

"So, what, you want Hudson back? Again." Santana snorts at her own joke.

Quinn just looks at her and stares for a moment before turning back front to wait for Mr. Schue come in. Most likely he'll be five minutes late, like he normally is. She's not really sure why he's late, considering he doesn't have a class right before Glee. She halfway considers he might purposely show up late to fool his class into thinking he's not the lame, still-stuck-in-the-glory-days guy that he actually is.

Okay, so maybe that's a little harsh. Quinn really doesn't have a problem with Mr. Schue. He has a few flaws, but he definitely cares about Glee club and the kids in it. She remembers his willingness to help her when she was pregnant, going far beyond his teaching duties.

But he does walk in – five minutes late, by Quinn's watch. "Hey guys, so great news!" His boyish grin is even wider than normal.

"Judging by that smile, it must be a new Journey set list," Puck mumbles from behind her.

"Or a rap song," Kurt intones as well.

Mr. Schue laughs good-naturedly. "Not quite, guys. Finn," he walks over to the football player and claps him on the shoulder, "would you like to tell them?"

Finn stands up, even though he's already towering over everyone as he sits. "Rachel's coming back tomorrow!"

"Already?" Quinn finds herself blurting out. Not that she isn't happy, but really, is four days a long enough recovery time?

Kurt looks at her sharply. "While I'm sure you've enjoyed Rachel being gone, _we _are glad to have her back."

Her first reaction is to scoff at him and call him out, because behind his soft voice is hiding just as big -if not bigger- of a bitch. She reigns that in somehow, and that's when the hurt kicks in. She hasn't felt like that about Rachel. Ever. Even when she couldn't stand Rachel, it was never a hatred thing. So for Kurt to throw that in her face like Quinn would be thrilled that Rachel is gone because she's hurt, is just so awful.

What kind of person do people think she is? A bitch? Sure. But hateful, unfeeling? Surely not?

It pauses her enough for her to just brush it to the side to ignore. There's no point in arguing with Kurt. He can be a bully when he wants to, yet he can disguise it as teasing and joking, something she hasn't been allowed to get away with. It's something he shares with Santana.

"So she remembers everything?" Brittany asks the question on the tip of Quinn's tongue.

Finn steps back, eager to be the one divulging information on Rachel. "Not yet, but the doctors are super positive it will come back. They said being around her normal routine will help her a lot."

Quinn smiles inwardly as she pictures the doctors giving Finn the medical diagnosis, only to have the boy stare blankly until they dumbed it down for him.

"They said not to overwhelm her though," he continues.

"Looks like the doctors taught you some big boy words too, Finn," Santana says cheekily. "By the way, when is the mailbox being released from the hospital?"

Finn immediately reddens at the resulting laughter. "Shut up, Santana. It was an accident."

"And accident is knocking some one up." She looks pointedly at Quinn, receiving an eye roll from the blonde. "Mailboxes don't just appear in the middle of the road. So what had Finny-boy all distracted, hmm?"

Everyone leans in, eager to learn the details. So of course Mr. Schue chooses that moment to start talking about what song they'll sing tomorrow.

"Any suggestions?" Their teacher asks brightly. "Something appropriate," he says as he sees Puck's hand go up. The mohawked boy pulls his hand back with a slight grin.

"How about..._Remember When_ by Alan Jackson," Finn says excitedly. "It'll be the perfect song!" He looks around the room for encouragement.

Quinn wonders if Finn ever thinks about what he says before he says it. Doubtful.

"Isn't that too mean?" Brittany asks, earning several looks. "I mean, asking her to remember when, when she doesn't remember...when..."

"But that's why it's the perfect choice!" Finn answers. "Because it's about remembering stuff, and so maybe it will help her remember."

"I've got a song," Santana jumps in. "Roses are red, violets are blue, I fail at life, and hit a mailbox with my car, causing you to lose your memory." Every one just looks at her. "What, so it needs a little work."

"I think that will be a great song choice, Finn." Mr. Schue smiles.

Quinn rolls her eyes for the third time in Glee. Of course it is, _Finn_ chose it.

"What was wrong with my song?" Santana asks innocently.

Finn glares at her. "It didn't even rhyme! And besides, Rachel will love us greeting her with a song."

But the blonde isn't so certain. She's not sure what to expect tomorrow. Her mind hasn't wrapped around the possibility of Rachel being different. Will Rachel still talk in long, winding sentences? Will she have the voice of legends, packed in a small body? Will she stand proud and confident, despite everyone's -including Quinn's – attempts to bring her down?

Or will this Rachel fade into the background?

Quinn just doesn't know.

And she doesn't know what's worse; Rachel forgetting everything...or Rachel remembering everything.

And she's terrified and excited that she'll find out tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

_Whew, well this is longer. There's no real set time frame for the chapters, and by that I mean each chapter isn't a day or anything like that. Some chapters might cover a whole day in one chapter, while others could cover one day in two chapters or two days in one chapter. It's really just however I feel like cutting the chapters and what all I want to include in them. Glee class will happen next chapter, but I'm pretty positive you'll be happy with this chapter.  
_

_I'm going to try to hold back on the A/N starting next chapter. I'd once again like to thank my readers; reviewers, favorite-rs included. It's always encouraging to get those notifications, so thanks for your love. Feel free to PM me with any questions or concerns. Alright, I'm shutting up now. Here's Chapter 4 :)_

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**Chapter 4  
**

She doesn't remember falling asleep, and had she not glanced at the clock and seen the bright 6:35 AM shining at her, she'd probably believe it's still the night before. Her insides are a mess, and Quinn knows her body well enough to know she doesn't need any food in her stomach- thanks morning sickness.

Everything feels like it's in slow motion. Like she's outside of her body, yelling at herself to go faster, but the rest of her refuses to listen. Her body doesn't understand she needs to get to school.

The cheerleader has practiced so many scenarios in front of her mirror that she should be totally embarrassed, but she's not. Any shame has been eclipsed by the knowledge of Rachel's return. Her mind is unable to correctly recall what Rachel looks like, and the hazy memory isn't doing her justice. The yearbook pictures she (desperately) looked through didn't seem accurate enough, detailed enough.

So when she pulls into the school parking lot, she has to sit in her car for a few minutes to collect herself. Her eyes glance around the parking lot, searching for Rachel's familiar Mini Cooper, and frowning when she doesn't spot its obnoxious yellow color in the normal space.

Quinn nearly jumps out of her skin when there's a tap on her window. She quickly turns to her left to see Santana smiling at her smugly. "What?" she snaps.

"Just figured you'd like to know that, while you were having eye sex with your steering wheel-" Quinn rolls her eyes, " the first bell rang."

'Thanks," the blonde says, somewhat appreciatively as she grabs her book bag and steps out of her car, following Santana inside.

She so desperately wants to ask about Rachel. She should just do it. Nothing wrong with her being curious. Her mouth opens, and just as she's about to ask, Santana looks at her and all her courage dies.

Quinn watches with interest as Santana suddenly stops and puts a hand to her ear.

"Hmm," the brunette says thoughtfully.

"What?"

"Maybe Berry isn't back. I don't hear any Sound of Music being belted out."

Quinn rolls her eyes even as her heart sinks. She should have known better than to trust anything Finn says. For all she knows the doctors told him two weeks and he instead thought today.

"That's not very nice, S."

Both girls turn to greet Brittany and she happily bounces up, despite her chastising her girlfriend...friend...hook-up buddy...

"Poor Rachel probably forgot how to sing." The tall blonde looks down at the floor sadly.

"Doubt it, B," Santana offers. "Pretty sure that's instinctive for her. Maybe she remembered no one cares about that genre."

The Latina's flippant comment angers Quinn, first because of the insult to Rachel, and second, because no one really knows the full extent of Rachel's injuries, so it's annoying having Santana be so blase.

Brittany looks thoughtful. "Do you think she forgot about her clothes?"

"Like, she's naked?" Quinn spits out stupidly, eyes wide at the thought. Who's to say Rachel didn't forget how to dress herself?

"No, she's clothed." The other two Cheerios look at her again. "What?" she asks, confused.

"You've seen her?" they both ask.

"Well, yeah...haven't you?"

Quinn refrains from shaking Brittany, mainly because Santana would rip her to shreds. And not to mention that Brittany could easily overpower her.

"No," Quinn says softly. "But what were you saying about her clothes?" What, don't give her that look. It's a legitimate, concerned question. She doesn't want Rachel, memory or no memory, to walk around being cold because she's half dressed.

"Oh, _that_. Yeah, she totally has on normal – well, _more_ normal – clothes. It's cute." The tall girl smiles brightly, grabbing Santana's arm as she starts to skip. "We have class, Q, but we'll see you at lunch. You should totally invite Rachel to sit with us."

And just like that, Quinn is left staring at the pair, wondering when Brittany became the voice of reason. She shakes her head and walks to class, mentally preparing herself for the inevitable meet up with Rachel. She just has to wait – she glances at her watch – four more hours. A heavy sigh makes its way past her lips.

It's going to be a long day.

* * *

For some one she was never able to avoid in all her years at high school, this Rachel must be part ninja. Any other time, she'd have run into Rachel between each class, in the lunch, room, and at the classes they shared, but today she's annoyingly, strangely, absent. It figures that now that she wants to see Rachel, the Glee captain has apparently vanished.

Quinn shifts her gaze across the cafeteria in hopes of seeing the small girl. She has already pep talked herself all through her morning classes on inviting Rachel to sit with her and Santana and Brittany for lunch. So it's obvious she's disappointed that all her hard work and practice is for naught.

She walks over to her normal seat but is halted by Brittany calling for her. When she turns to find the blonde, her breath catches and she spots Rachel in the middle of what looks like a Glee Club huddle. Even from here she can see the poor girl is terrified and overwhelmed.

"Quinn, over here," Brittany calls again, bouncing from foot to foot as she waves happily, pointing at Rachel with a big grin. "Rachel's here."

Realizing that with the club's eyes on her she can't very well throw her lunch down and sprint the other direction, she forces her feet towards the group. Her heart pounds, and though she can feel the pulse throughout her, she doesn't feel like any oxygen is getting to her lungs. Each step quickens the beat, and by the time she's a few feet from Rachel, Quinn's convinced she'll pass out before she even speaks to her.

" - and we're so glad you're back!"

"- missed you!"

"-wreck and were so worried."

"-practicing for Sectionals again."

Quinn steps back as she picks up on bits and pieces of the forty conversations being thrown at Rachel. A part of her is glowing on the inside from the love the Glee kids are giving their captain, but another part of her wants to slap a hand over their mouths and tell them to see how it's affecting the poor diva.

The normally verbose girl is sitting with her back against the table, trying her best to not look like she's two seconds away from climbing out the nearest window and making a break for it. Her smile is super huge, super nervous, and super fake, and no one seems to pick up on it.

The blonde tries to imagine what it must be like, having all these strangers thrust in front of you, all talking at once and you not having the slightest clue who they are or what you're talking about. Or so Quinn assumes. She's honestly not sure what Rachel remembers, but the old Rachel would have basked in the attention, not shy away from it.

Making a quick, mental decision, Quinn steps in, smiling inwardly as the group still part in slight fear of her. She sticks her hand out feels her breath catch again when Rachel's eyes meet hers, unsure. "Hi, I'm Quinn."

Rachel grabs her hand, and Quinn swears she sees the girl's eyes soften in quiet appreciation. "Rachel. Nice to...meet you?" She asks hesitantly, watching hazel eyes to gauge the reaction.

The blonde smiles, recognizing that Rachel isn't sure if she should know her or not. "You too," she offers back, leaving the decision up to Rachel on whether the brunette knows her or not.

She kind of likes this mystery, this chance at meeting a new Rachel while helping to uncover the old Rachel. She knows which Rachel she likes best, but that's the only version she's known, and call her biased, but this version seems to be just as good so far.

Her mind bursts with all the things she wants to ask of Rachel, but she doesn't want to intimidate her or overwhelm her any more than she (obviously) already is. So she sits down and takes out her sandwich, aware that chocolate eyes are watching her with curiosity.

Quinn quietly hums in relief when the group – reluctantly – gets up to go get in line to get their food. Apparently they walked right in and mobbed Rachel. She doesn't care, she's happy to be alone with Rachel, though for all she's thought this exact situation out, she's not sure where to start.

"Thanks for that," Rachel says softly, turning so that she's angled towards Quinn. "Everyone has come up to me saying how glad they are to see me and looking at me so excitedly and expectantly, and I...I feel horrible for not knowing who they are and I don't want to hurt their feelings."

That's such a Rachel-length response that Quinn finds herself aching. "They're like that anyway," she offers with a shrug, "all overwhelming and groupy."

"They?" The brunette questions. "Not you?"

Quinn snorts. "Definitely not. You'll learn that quickly." She looks to see Rachel looking at her intently. "What?" she asks, more than a little self-conscious.

"It's just..." Rachel looks down shyly. "You seem to be the only person who treats me like you don't expect me to remember everything at once."

She shrugs, hoping she can raise her shoulders high enough to cover her blush. "It's unlikely you'll remember everything your first day back."

The shorter girl breathes out a laugh. "Now you sound like the doctor."

Quinn flinches. "I wasn't trying to be pessimistic. Sorry, that kind of tends to be my default setting."

"No, it's okay. Once I realized I couldn't remember a lot of things, I asked how long it would take to regain my memory. I was hoping it would be that day, but of course they couldn't promise that. Then they started throwing out potential time frames and, well, that was a bit of a reality check, knowing it could be anywhere from a few days, to a few weeks, to months, if ever."

The blonde feels her body trying to lean towards Rachel, her ears picking up on the sadness in the girl's tone, but she doesn't. She wouldn't have done it even if Rachel remembered everything, so to do this now when she's technically a total stranger to the girl would just be too much; for both of them.

Instead Quinn says, "When I was pregnant – oh yeah, by the way, I'm sure you'll be caught up, I had a baby – I remember worrying about what was happening and what would happen and the thing I had to tell myself was, 'day by day.'"

Rachel looks over Quinn like she doesn't believe her. "I don't think you're lying, because, why would you lie about that, but wow, I never would have guessed that.

The head cheerio smiles slightly. "Yeah, it shocked all of us."

"Well, but that is very good advice. 'Day by day.' I like it!" she says with a smile.

The other members find their way back to the table, and Quinn hides her frown as her and Rachel are interrupted. It deepens when the members resume their bombardment of the poor girl. When she sees Finn slide in beside Rachel with a big grin on his face, it morphs into an ugly scowl, and she forces a bite of sandwich into her mouth to hide it.

She shouldn't be surprised that even with this new Rachel, Finn still seems to be right in the middle. And the poor guy can't seem to grasp that just it's not fair to Rachel to expect so much from her, but it's obvious, by the hopeful light in his brown eyes, that he's as optimistic as they come.

"We have Glee Club at the end of the day. We sing a bunch of songs, some new, some not so new." He leans in closer to her, watching her expectantly. "Some show tunes."

Quinn is annoyed to find herself leaning forward like the rest of the club, waiting to see if the mention of show tunes has sparked anything.

"Oh...um, that's cool. You're all in it?" Rachel looks around the group, failing to notice all the eyes fall in disappointment.

Finn perks up the fastest. "Yeah. And you are, too. You and me, we're the captains of it. We usually do a lot of duets together for our competitions."

Rachel's brown eyes light up. "Really? I...I'm in Glee Club?" They all nod. "And...and I can sing?" Again they all nod.

"Like a freakin' bird!" comes Santana's reply.

"Yeah, you get, like, every single solo," Mercedes mentions, obviously still bitter despite Rachel not being aware of this fact. Kurt gives the black girl an empathetic nod.

"Really?" Rachel says again, obviously awestruck by this information. "But...wait, how many people do we have? Just you guys?"

Kurt speaks up, eager to join in the conversation. "We have twelve members, it's required for competitions. Even if we do fluctuate numbers a lot," he mumbles.

"There's twelve of you guys, uh, I mean, _us_ and I get all the solos?" She looks around for confirmation. "Can no one else sing?"

Quinn knows it's the wrong thing to say, and she's hoping the group takes pity on Rachel honestly not remembering.

"Well if you go by Mr. Schue, there's only you and Finnept. We provide an excellent background, though." Santana glares at Finn.

Rachel's eyebrow shoot up when she hears Finnept, but she doesn't comment, merely looking to the other members in question, who roll their eyes and shake their heads. "And Mr. Schue is...?"

"Our teacher who lives vicariously through us and is convinced he can sing any genre and dance to anything." Kurt smiles.

"Hmm," Santana strokes her chin thoughtfully, "did you say Schue, or Finn?"

"Hey!" Finn says loudly.

Quinn just watches them with mild annoyance. She's not much of a talker, and she hates that she's afraid to talk to Rachel and have every one catch on. For the millionth time, she wishes her and Rachel would have just started a friendship from the brunette's first tentative offer years ago. Then there'd be no questioning why the Cheerio was talking with Rachel.

"What?" the Latina asks innocently. "Berry should be properly warned about your dancing."

"Warned?" Rachel asks timidly.

"Oh, yeah," Brittany says lightly, "he's totally got like two right feet. But I can dance! See?" She suddenly stands up and spins around, the pleats of her Cheerio skirt twirling to catch up with her.

The captain smiles, obviously charmed by the tall girl. Quinn smiles too at Brittany's antics, and she loves how, no matter how much the club has seen Brittany dance, she can always amaze them.

"That's very good," the Jewish girl says, realizing that Brittany is looking for confirmation.

The blonde throws her a big smile and sits down. "I know."

Quinn watches as the teachers begin to usher the students out of the cafeteria, sending them on to their next class. She starts to grumble about leaving before she remembers what class she has.

Economics.

With Rachel.

Suddenly the prospect of leaving doesn't seem bad at all. Now she just needs her old Quinn Fabray confidence to talk to the other girl.

"Hey, Rachel..." falls from her lips, and she's shocked that she spoke to her in front of everyone, but she's too busy focusing on Rachel's eyes shooting up to meet hers to care.

"Yeah?"

"Well, we have Econ together, and figured you could just walk with me so I can show you the way." Quinn stares straight ahead, mentally kicking herself for feeling so awkward.

"Sure," she smiles, "that would be great. I've been about three minutes late to my first classes because I got lost."

"Well I usually walk you," Finn says with a bit of a pout. Quinn hopes Rachel forgets the effect that stupid pout normally has on her.

She watches Rachel's gaze flip between her and Finn, and she can see the indecision. "It's okay," she tells the brunette, "I'll just see you in class." _Damn Finn_, she curses.

"Oh, well...I mean if we have class together, it makes sense..." Rachel looks up at Finn. "Oh, do you have class with us?"

Santana laughs, short and harsh. "That's a big. fat. negative. You and Quinn are in AP classes. Finn goes to the elementary school for his classes."

Despite wanting to laugh along with Santana, Quinn feels compelled to be a bit nicer to the boy, at least in Rachel's presence. "No, he doesn't. He has Glee with us though, that's right after."

"Well then I'll just walk with Quinn, and I guess I'll see you in Glee, Finn." Quinn inwardly jumps up and down. And also sticks out her tongue to Finn. Inwardly, too, of course.

"Yeah, okay," the tall boy mumbles, obvious displeased with what happened. "Oh, and I don't go to the elementary school for classes. I totally take them here, Santana was just being a-" he stops mid sentence at the daring stare the girl in question gives him. "-uh, just messing with me," he finishes lamely.

"Anyway!" Kurt says loudly, "We really need to go to class. We'll see you in Glee, Rachel." He gives the short girl a small hug. He watches Quinn until he has to turn around to watch where he's going, and his distrust pisses her off. Since when did he become worried about how Rachel was treated?

"Later," Mercedes calls out, nodding at Rachel. "Come on, Satan, Brittany." Santana flips her off but follows her with Brittany nonetheless.

Rachel waves at them before turning to Quinn. "Ready?"

It takes a moment for the blonde to answer. She's very much aware of the fact that Finn has yet to leave and is staring at Rachel. "Yeah, let's go. We have _class_ to get to," she states pointedly, hoping Finn picks up on the hint.

Seeming to catch the cue, Finn sighs. "Yeah, alright. I'll see you guys in a bit. I'll save you a seat, Rach."

"Yep, sure," Quinn calls over her shoulder as she shoulders her bag and walks out the door with Rachel in tow.

They walk a few yards before Rachel speaks up. "Is he normally so..."

"Slow?" Quinn supplies with a small smirk.

The Glee captain breathes out a laugh. "I was going for clingy."

"Well the answer to both, is yes."

"And his dancing?"

The blonde laughs this time. "Trust me, you'll just have to see to get the full effect." She wants to know if Rachel knows Finn is her boyfriend, but who wants to open that topic of discussion? She's perfectly fine having their conversation not include any more of Finn than it already has.

Rachel smiles and nods. "So, AP, huh?"

Quinn shrugs. "We're kind of geniuses."

Rachel laughs again, and Quinn feels her whole body relax at the sound. She feels like she misses this, but she's never had this before, so she's not really sure how she feels. Whatever she's feeling, she likes it.

"Is that so?"

"Yep, top five of our class."

"Really?" Rachel looks absolutely delighted.

"Yeah," the blonde says with a slight smile. "Do you really expect us to lie to you about...well, you?"

"No," she shakes her head, "it's not that, it's just...you know how you go visit relatives, and they tell all these stories about you when you were younger, and you're always shocked because you didn't know it?" Quinn nods for her to continue. "Well it's like that. It's basically like hearing a story and you suddenly find all these little pieces about yourself that you didn't remember."

Quinn gets that. She always asked '_Really_?' whenever she was told stories about herself in the past. She remembers laughing in disbelief, like there was no way she did those things at age five, or whenever.

"So I may not remember a whole lot," Rachel says after a moment, voice laced with a hint of amusement, "but I'm pretty sure you actually have to walk _into_ the classroom for class."

Quinn fights the back the urge to nudge Rachel playfully with her shoulder, and instead allows a small smile to slip. "I suppose," is all she says, and then she's walking through the doorway, explaining to the teacher that she was bringing Rachel to class.

The teacher smiles in understanding and welcomes Rachel back with a bright smile. Quinn's always liked Mrs. Adams. She's in her late twenties, so she's young enough to be cool but old enough to keep order in the class. Plus she's a great, interesting teacher, and that's something that's necessary if you're taking Economics.

Despite wanting to stand next to Rachel while the teacher talks with her quietly, she forces herself to take her normal seat. Mrs. Adams might be cool, but the class all knows she enjoys embarrassing people, and Quinn can just imagine what Mrs. Adams might say if Quinn were to hover.

She opens her book up and gets her notebook ready, though instead of starting to copy the notes from the board, she's writing different ways to spend more time with Rachel. She's so glad that Santana isn't in this class, because the Latina is nosy and would have snatched up the paper to read by now, most likely sharing it with Brittany.

Quinn is vaguely aware of the noise going around, and it's only when she feels a soft poke that she directs her attention to it. It's Rachel, sitting in the desk next to her, holding a pencil in her hand and looking sheepish.

"Sorry," she whispers. "I kept trying to call your name but you were zoned out."

Quinn waves her off. "It's okay." Rachel's normal seat is at the opposite side of the classroom, so this is a nice surprise.

Rachel sees the blonde keep looking at her in surprise. "Oh, the seat?" Quinn nods. "Oh, about that..." Her tan cheeks light up softly. "Well I...Mrs. Adams thought it would be helpful to sit next to you to catch up. And, you know, since I kind of know you. Well, I mean I _do_ know you, but, you know, since I can't remember..." She bites her lip, obviously embarrassed with her rambling.

Quinn smiles again, feeling her insides glow warmly from the nervous babbling that's so Rachel Berry. "It's okay."

And it is okay.

It's very okay.

Quinn shifts in her seat so she can watch the board and keep Rachel in her peripheral. She's pretty sure she didn't imagine Rachel scooting her desk closer, or Rachel leaning slight to her left, towards Quinn.

She's pretty sure her body moved to the right on it's own

She's pretty sure she's already way in over her head, and it's only Rachel's first day.

She's pretty sure she doesn't mind it one bit.


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: **Totally sorry about the wait! I was actually typing this close to a week ago and my computer wouldn't turn on so I tried directly typing it to the site to edit and upload on the desktop, and suddenly it loaded the previous page of the internet and deleted all of what I had written for like the entirety of this chapter, and I was super happy with what I had typed, so to see it all disappear was a major set back. That, and real life got in the way, but here it is. Mostly dialogue, but I enjoy incorporating characters in, even if it's just for a few lines. Next chapter will have a lot more Rachel/Quinn. I do want to develop them more (obviously), but I want it to be realistic, not having them magically have all classes together or hanging out all the time when technically they are practically strangers in Rachel's eyes. Anyway, I'll try to get ahead in the story for everyone's benefits. Sorry again for the lateness and long note. Enjoy!  
_

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**Chapter 5  
**

They walk towards Glee together, and Quinn can feel the nervous energy from Rachel.

"You know, everybody would understand if you skipped today," she tells the girl softly, ignoring the people staring and whispering, most likely about Rachel – though, really, that's not much of a new thing.

Rachel gives a small smile. "You say that, but I feel like they're all counting on me to be there. I can't let them down."

It causes Quinn to laugh, and Rachel looks at her curiously. "I'm sorry," the blond smiles, "it's just…don't take this the wrong way but-" Rachel's brows furrow. "Well, you're usually not too concerned with how the others feel. Not that you aren't caring," she quickly amends, "it's just…well, you're _very_ goal driven."

The Glee captain frowns. "Is that a nice way of telling me I'm obnoxious?"

"Not at all. It's more envious than annoying. I just mean that you usually focus on bettering yourself and bettering the group and…" Quinn huffs to herself. "I'm sorry, I'm not explaining this very well at all."

She stops and looks at Rachel, who is watching her with poorly hidden amusement. "What?"

"I'm sorry," Rachel says, not seeming sorry at all, "it was just fun watching you talk in circles. Thank you for trying, though. I appreciate it."

Quinn frowns but nods all the same. She's embarrassed, not mad. "Yeah, yeah." She nudges Rachel.

"So what's it going to be like in there?"

The blonde laughs. "You make it sound so ominous. Well actually…you know, you can't ever really predict what will go down. I mean you met most of us, so you already have a pretty good idea. Now add about four more crazy people…"

"So it's basically a room full of crazy people?" Rachel watches the Cheerio nod. "And I'm the captain of the crazies?"

Quinn can't help but full on laugh. If that isn't the truth right there. She sobers slightly when she sees Rachel stare at her. "If it makes you feel better, we all have crazy in us. Trust me, once you walk in, you'll understand."

"So you guys just…I don't know, talk in songs to each other? I'm just finding this really hard to grasp."

Quinn smiles and shakes her head. "Trust me, it's best if you just see for yourself. Although I have to warn you, I'm pretty sure they have something planned for you. Not to ruin the surprise, but, well, I figured this wasn't something you wanted to get blindsided with your first day back."

If anything, Rachel looks more nervous. "Now I _am _considering skipping," she says with a groan.

"Too late now. We're here." Hazel eyes drop down to meet brown. "Want me to go first?"

"Please."

Quinn doesn't know why, but she takes a deep breath before walking in.

"Okay guys, she's here! Just like we practiced!"

The Cheerio captain stares at the floor and walks right by Mr. Schue and the rest of the club standing eagerly at the door. She's embarrassed on the Glee Club's behalf, and for Rachel as well. She's so glad she wasn't forced to be a part of this.

"This is for you, Rachel!" Finn shouts out, mouth stretched so wide in a smile that Quinn thinks it would make Sam jealous. "_Remember when_," he starts singing, staring at Rachel.

Quinn stares at Rachel too, mainly so she doesn't have to watch the catastrophe that is currently taking place. Finn's dancing is on full display for Rachel, and Quinn watches the girl's eyes widen, though she's not sure if it's in laughter or disbelief.

The rest of the Gleeks are singing and dancing as well, closing in around the brunette as their singing gets quieter until they all just stop and look at her with creepy smiles.

"_And we'll remember when_," they finish slowly, watching her closely to gauge her reaction.

Mr. Schue breaks out into applause, coming to join the group. "That was amazing, guys. So, what did you think, Rachel? They kids thought it would be great to surprise you with it. We worked very hard on it the past few days."

Quinn wants to shake her head, negating her part in the fiasco. She notices that Santana has already sat back down, and is now shooting glances at Brittany. The blonde, however, is too caught up in bouncing around the circle, watching Rachel.

"Um…" Rachel starts, leaning back as the club leans in closer. "That was…I appreciate you guys working so hard to do that for me."

"It was my idea," Finn says proudly, moving so he's right next to her. "So…do you, you know, remember anything?"

"Finn," Mercedes hisses, "you can't just ask her that." Kurt nods his agreement. "Geeze, that's really inconsiderate."

The black girl watches as all the kids agree, before she leans in close, whispering, "But really, do you?"

"I-I'm sorry," Rachel says, looking very upset with herself. "I really want to, but I…I just can't remember anything yet."

Everyone's face drops, though most of them do their best to hide it.

Mr. Schue is the first to recover. "That's okay, Rachel. We are just glad you're feeling better and back in school."

"Thank you…" The brunette drops off, obviously uncertain.

"Mr. Schue-" Quinn supplies.

"Mr. Schue," Rachel says sheepishly, nodding gratefully at Quinn. "Well if you guys don't mind, I'd just like to watch today."

"Of course." Mr. Schue smiles easily. The man is probably a bit relieved to know he'll be able to run class without Rachel's interruptions.

Finn rushes to his normal seat and turns to watch Rachel expectantly. Quinn does her best to hide her smug look when Rachel sits down next to her.

"You usually sit with me," he tells her. "Maybe it'll help you remember, you know, doing your normal routine."

Rachel sighs, and Quinn glares at Finn for putting more pressure on her. Does everyone really expect her to remember everything so quickly? Obviously, considering the way they watch her.

"Finn, Rachel's fine where she is. Don't overwhelm her," Quinn snaps.

"Yeah, Finny, shut up," Santana taunts. Quinn doesn't meet her gaze, she's afraid of what she'll see.

Not wanting to seem petulant in front of Rachel, Finn huffs and turns back around.

"Thank you! I got tired of staring at his pastry puffs. You really should put those away before they blind some one."

"Alright, guys, well let's give Rachel more of a preview of what we do here in Glee Club." Mr. Schue maintains his positive attitude despite the normal Finn and Santana show.

Mercedes raises her hands and waits to be called on. "Basically we practice songs to compete in sectionals, regionals, nationals...all for competitions, but we have a lot of fun, too."

"I don't really sing too much, I prefer to dance," Brittany says happily, twirling around Santana.

"You and I usually do a bunch of duets," Finn adds in helpfully.

"Or all the songs," Santana intones.

Quinn stares at the girl. "Santana."

The girl shrugs. "It's true."

Rachel looks so thoughtful, taking it all in. Quinn leans over towards her, whispering, "Santana is just mad because you're the best of us." She watches as Rachel blushes slightly and looks away, and it's a bittersweet moment, because she enjoys this softer side of the diva but she knows the old Rachel wouldn't be so shocked by the recognition of her talent. She wonders when she'll stop comparing the two Rachel's, because despite the differences, it's all Rachel.

"Please, Quinn," Mercedes jumps in. "She's good, no doubt, but she has some serious competition with all of this." She gestures up and down her body.

"Straight up, girl," Kurt's soft voice comes in. "No offense, of course, Rachel, but we have some great talent here."

"Well, I don't really know how things usually go, but you guys are more than welcome to take the reins." Rachel watches the group carefully.

"But Rachel," Finn whines, "you and I are the captains."

"I think we can excuse her for a few days, you know, while she's trying to REMEMBER." The blonde narrows her eyes at him. She's not afraid to use her old HBIC powers, especially on Finn.

"Yeah, but the doctor said it'll help..."

"And I'm sure the doctor probably told your mom about the dangers of dropping you on your head, but look what good that advice did." Santana flashes her teeth dangerously, obviously having been bored up until this point.

"Guys," Rachel says, "please. Finn, I appreciate the help, but it's a little too much right now."

He shoves his hands in his pockets. "Alright. Sorry," he offers softly.

Quinn feels a little sorry for him. She knows he cares for Rachel, and as much as she doesn't like him, it has to be hard on him. But would it kill him to stop acting like this is all about him?

"Hey, I've got a great idea!" Kurt claps his hands together. He waits for everyone to look at him, relishing in the attention for a moment before he continues. "_Girl's night_!" he sings. "Movies, junk food, manis, pedis...It'll totally be a great way for us to bond with you, Rachel.

Mercedes smiles and high fives him. "You know I'm in."

"Tina?" he turns towards the small girl.

"S-sure...I'll have t-to check with my p-parents."

"Drop it, Chang. We totally know you don't have a stuttering problem."

"_Santana_!" the Asian girl cries. "Rachel didn't remember!"

Kurt pats her shoulder sympathetically. "Satan is right, though, Tina." He turns to Rachel. "So, are you in? It'll be good for you. We can catch you up on your life and all that goes down in McKinley."

"Yeah," Rachel says brightly. "I'd like that. I mean, if you're sure."

"Aw, darn Brittany. Too bad we actually have lives, or else we'd totally be there." Santana says, sarcasm lacing every word.

"Anyway," Kurt says, doing his best to subtly glare at Santana, "if you girls are all in, I'll see you at my house at seven."

Rachel scratches her arm nervously. "Um...I don't know how to get there. I barely made it to the school without getting lost."

"I'll drive you!" Finn offers quickly, jumping to his feet. "I live with Kurt, so it totally makes sense."

"Perfect," Kurt says.

"Really?" Santana stares at him. "You really think she should get in the car with you _again_?"

Finn ducks sheepishly. "It was an accident," he says quietly.

"You know, she's got a point," Kurt says.

"I can totally take her. I promise to be extra careful!"

"You want to come to the girls' night?" Rachel asks slowly. "Oh, are you and Kurt, like, together?"

It's hard to determine which reactions are the best, because Quinn is torn between Santana's loud laughter and Finn's outraged shout of "NO!"

"Definitely not!" The football player assures her. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. You know, 'cause of your dads."

"Not this again," Mike mumbles to Tina.

"He's my step-brother," Kurt explains finally, though his mouth is still slightly curved up in the remnants of a smile. Quinn finds it makes her dislike of the boy lessen...slightly.

"What about Quinn?" Rachel turns towards Quinn, who up until this point has just been watching the exchange with vague disinterest.

"Huh?" she says, head snapping to Rachel quickly. Is the brunette seriously asking if Quinn is gay?

"Can you give me a ride to Kurt's?"

Quinn feels herself breathe softly in relief before she watches Kurt look at her and subtly shake his head back and forth. He doesn't want to make Rachel aware of his and Quinn's lack of friendship. She kind of enjoys watching him sweat. She normally doesn't have an issue with Kurt, but this past year he has just really pissed her off. She's sick over his superior tone and attitude. He complains about being bullied and treated unfairly, but he is just as quick to dish it out to other people. Not that she has room to talk, of course.

"Sure," she says sweetly, throwing a look towards the pale skinned boy for his benefit.

Quinn can feel everyone staring at her, wondering what is going on, but she really just doesn't care. It feels good to do something for Rachel simply because she wants to.

Rachel smiles at her. "Okay, great. Well I'll call my fathers and let them know and we'll see you at your house."

"Guys," Mr. Schue says out of nowhere. Quinn wonders what he does when the class gets away from him. "It's so good to see you guys bonding. See, this is what being a team is all about." He looks around happily, like this was one of his brilliant bonding ideas.

"Whatevs," Santana says. "If we aren't going to sing anything else today, Britts and me are out. Have fun braiding hair tonight, girls. Hope the trailer doesn't catch on fire from all the gay." She tugs Brittany's wrist (gently), and walks her out of the class.

"Guess class is dismissed." Sam shrugs. "Puck, you up for some Call of Duty?"

"Duh. Hey Rachel," the mohawked boy walks over to Rachel and grins at her. "If you need some help remembering..."

Mercedes slaps him on his chest. "Back off, Puckerman. She doesn't need to remember anything to know she doesn't want you."

"I'm still waiting on you, big mama." He gives her a big wink before grabbing his back and patting Sam on the back. "Let's go, Dr. Suess."

Rachel watches them all leave. She turns to Quinn. "So, we just leave whenever?"

Quinn laughs. "You'll learn quick that Mr. Schue doesn't really run Glee. Usually we just prepare a song for class and then about a week or so before competition, we start crazily practicing."

"That seems...really unorganized."

The blonde nods. "And now you see why you are our captain and take it upon yourself to get us prepared."

They walk out to Quinn's car, stopping and leaning against it. "So is it worth it?" Rachel asks. "I mean, all the stress and drama just for some competition? It's kind of hard to believe that this group can get stop arguing long enough to sing.

"Every one likes to win. It's a bit surprsing how well we can mesh, despite our differences." She looks at Rachel pointedly, even though she knows the girl won't understand the meaning behind it.

Quinn shrugs as she continues. "But it's so much more than that, really. At least to you."

"Me? Why?"

Again Quinn shrugs and looks away from Rachel. "Because you know you're meant for more than...well this. Because you have the talent to actually achieve the dream you've set for yourself."

Rachel is silent, and Quinn finally looks at her. She watches the brunette's face light up. "I like learning about me from you."

She laughs in confusion. "Why is that?"

Rachel looks at her. "You just...you make me sound like some one I want to remember being. I'm sure everyone wonders what they would do if they had a second chance at their life and...well...you make me wish for the me I was. I don't know," she says softly, if not nervously, "...I know it sounds a little strange, but...well thanks."

The blonde looks away again. This moment is too intimate, especially with Rachel. She didn't want the old Rachel to know her feelings, and she definitely doesn't want this Rachel to find them out, and certainly not in the first day of knowing her.

"Ask anyone, they'll tell you that," she deflects.

Rachel smiles, like she understands what Quinn is doing. "Well I will. I'm sure I'll be tired of hearing about myself."

Quinn laughs and meets Rachel's gaze again. "Now _that_ is definitely not something I'd ever think to hear from Rachel Berry."

"Looks like I can teach you something about me after all. Now come on, Quinn. We have time to kill and I have no idea how to get anywhere. Just please, avoid mailboxes."

She watches Rachel get into her car, smiling as she climbs in the driver's side. She knows there's plenty Rachel has to teach her, and even if it means suffering through Kurt and the others from Glee, she'll happy put up with it.

Besides, she's had all of high school to prefect being fake. What's one more night of it? And with hours to kill with Rachel before they even go to Kurt's, Quinn has a feeling anything that happens between her and Rachel can't be anything but real.


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: **Totally apologizing for the wait. I had most of this typed, and the real life got in the way. And I broke this into two parts, though I really didn't want to, but it would have been super, super long. And while I'm sure most of you wouldn't have minded, it would have been a tease for me to have a really (and I mean really) long chapter just to go back to a shorter length for the rest of the story. So anyway, the good news is: a sooner update! Thanks for sticking with me, you spoil me with all the alerts, but please, keep them going :) Also, I realize how comma obsessed I am. You're welcome for that, haha.  
_

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**Chapter 6  
**

Quinn wonders how strange and awkward this situation would be if Rachel was the old Rachel, and, really, if she was the old Quinn. But most likely, this situation wouldn't happen at all, because Quinn was nothing if not impenetrable, and being around some one who could almost effortlessly tear through walls was not a good combination.

But the truth is, it's not awkward. It's tense, mainly because Quinn has so much she wants to say and she's afraid if she holds it in much longer, she'll end up screaming it all at the girl beside her. Sure, she's been known to shout at Rachel before, but she knows the things waiting to be freed from her heart are not words of anger or hatred.

"So what was that with you and Kurt? In Glee," Rachel says, turning in her seat to look at the blonde. Quinn, for her part, shrugs in feigned innocence, though as always, Rachel picks up on it. "I'm not stupid, you know. Remember, AP classes?"

Quinn smiles at their rehashed joke, happy that, even in the few hours Rachel has been back, they've created an inside joke. "Let's just say that Kurt and I aren't exactly best friends."

Rachel seems to ponder this for a second. "Is it because he's gay? I mean, he is, right?"

The blonde sputters as her head snaps to Rachel's quickly in disbelief. "Of course not! I mean, yeah he is gay, but no, that's not why."

"Sorry," the Glee captain offers, "I was just curious. I mean, my dads are, well, obviously, gay and I didn't want things to be awkward. And I saw the looks you and Kurt traded and couldn't help but wonder."

"It's okay," Quinn assures. "Kurt...let's just say Kurt can be very dramatic and very much a diva and he can sometimes use that as an excuse to act...certain ways."

Rachel laughs. "Well that was a great way of vaguely explaining."

The blonde smiles softly. "Maybe. I just think it's best to let you form your own opinions about people." And if Quinn is being honest, it's something she needs to re-learn herself. Beth didn't just teach her about love, she taught Quinn about living in the moment and taking advantage of what you've been given. And even though Quinn can, at the best times, barely tolerate most of the Glee Club, she's not dumb enough to not know that's her family.

They sit in silence for a moment, each obviously lost in their own thoughts. Quinn steals glances at Rachel out of the corner of her eye, wishing she could hear what the shorter girl is thinking.

"Be honest," Rachel starts, and Quinn immediately sits up taller in her seat, hands gripping the wheel tighter. "Do you think I'll remember?"

The Cheerio lets out a long breath. She's wondered this same thing countless times. She's not sure how she's supposed to answer.

"Sorry for such heaviness on my first day back and really my first day knowing you. But, I feel like you'll be honest with me. Even from the first moment you saw me, you treated me different. Normal. Or I guess as normal as possible considering this situation."

"I don't know," Quinn admits finally, staring straight ahead. "But I do believe that things happen for a reason. And that however things play out, they will somehow be better than what they were before, memory or no memory."

"Yeah," the girl agrees softly, looking out the window, though Quinn can tell she's focused on something only she can see.

"And hey," Quinn says after a moment, voice a little brighter, "how many people wouldn't want to forget certain parts of high school? You're already one up on that."

It gets a laugh she was hoping for, and that's enough for Quinn right now. As much as she'd like to tell Rachel everything, she's not ready for the heavy stuff. She's not even sure if her mouth would allow her words to be set free from their deep confines, though she's not too worried. She's pretty sure Rachel has the key anyway, even if she doesn't know it yet.

"So how do these girls nights usually go?"

"You're asking the wrong person."

Rachel looks at her in disbelief. "Somehow I find it hard to believe that you aren't invited to all these slumber parties and what not."

Quinn colors slightly. "Well, okay, I mean yeah, but that's usually outside of Glee. I know you don't remember much, but I'm sure you remember how the popular/unpopular dynamic works." Rachel nods. "Well I'm a cheerleader, and before I was pregnant, that was the only thing that mattered – maintaining that popularity. So, no, before this year, I hadn't been invited, mainly because they knew I wouldn't show up."

She wants to turn and study Rachel's reaction, to see how she's processing this. Quinn doesn't really want to reveal all of herself, but there's a slight weight being lifted off her chest even with this small confession, this little glimpse into who she is. Because even though she's changed, past Quinn is still a part of Quinn. And slowly but surely, she wants to unravel herself to Rachel.

"And now?"

The blonde thinks for a second. "And now...I'm going to hang out with the unpopular kids for a girls night out."

"And Santana and Brittany?"

"Are not going to be hanging out with the unpopular kids for a girls night out."

Rachel laugh and rolls her eyes. "Obviously. What do you think they're going to do instead?"

Her first thought is _each other_, but she doesn't think she should throw that on Rachel yet. And it's not her place to out her friends like that, even though they are completely obvious. "Mmmm...Probably watch dance videos so Brittany can learn new stuff. That's pretty much what we did when we hung out."

"Wow," Rachel says.

"What?" Quinn asks, on guard from Rachel's tone.

"I just...I guess I just imagined that popular people all hung out in their bathing suits and got drunk and grinded on each other."

The blonde snorts indelicately, instantly blushing over the noise. "I'm pretty sure you just described a porno. Besides, we totally save that for Friday nights, not school nights."

"Well, let's just say in preparation for school, I had my dads bring me a bunch of movies about high school so I could get up to speed."

"Oh my gosh," Quinn laughs, "those are totally not any way close to how school really is! We don't have people throwing frisbees in the hallways and people skateboarding on the steps or smoking on a blanket outside the school."

Rachel looks sheepish. "Well I obviously knew that! ...after I asked my dads."

Again the blonde laughs, imagining that conversation. "So, is it safe to say your frisbee and skateboard were confiscated before you left your house?"

"My dad assured me we had no such items at our house. He informed me that, while I was athletic, I was more the dancing type, and as well as I could play the piano, my hands couldn't catch a frisbee if it was handed to me."

"I can promise you frisbee skills will not be needed at Kurt's. With the exception of Jacob Ben-Israel – who you'll be glad you don't remember- the group we are meeting up with is probably the most nonathletic people you'll meet." She smiles to herself as she imagines the Kurt being tossed a frisbee and screaming and running the opposite way, mumbling about ruining his nails.

"I suppose that is a bit reassuring," Rachel says.

"Most likely, this whole evening will be listening to Kurt and Mercedes try to out gossip the other. And I'm sure they'll tell you everything you need to know. And then some."

Quinn pulls into her driveway and sighs in relief when she sees her mom still isn't home from work. She's not embarrassed to bring Rachel over, she just really doesn't want to deal with Judy Fabray: Stepford Wife right now. Especially when they have a few hours to kill before going to Kurts. That would leave her mom plenty of times to do damage.

"Wow," Rachel sighs as she gets out of the car. "Don't take this the wrong way, but-" Quinn stiffens. "You're house is super small."

The taller girl breathes out a small laugh. "I know, right?"

She wishes Rachel could feel her thankfulness, because she was nervous about bringing the tan girl to her house. Quinn can be intimidating, and add to the fact that her parents – family- is rich, well, that can overwhelm anyone.

"My mom isn't home yet, but she'll probably get here within an hour or so. Take that as your warning."

Rachel laughs. "Why is that? Is she like, evil, or something?"

"Or something," Quinn mutters. "No, she's not. She's just...had years to perfect being the wife of a successful business man, and so she can be very overbearing in the role of hostess."

"Hm," Rachel nods thoughtfully. "So, when does the butler come and take my stuff?"

"Oh, Gerard?" Quinn asks.

Rachel snorts. "Seriously? I was totally kidding, but that's really his name? You have a butler named Gerard?" she asks. "As in, Gerard is your butler...Gerard Butler?"

Quinn finally shakes her head, allowing a smile to break free. "No, we don't have a butler. And it figures you remember useless information like celebrity names. Oh god," she says immediately, slapping a hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry, that was so insensitive."

"No, it's okay," Rachel assures her. "I actually appreciate you being able to joke about it. The butler thing, however, not cool." She levels Quinn with steady stare, brown eyes narrowed in fake anger.

The taller girl shakes her head with a smile and moves their stuff to into the kitchen, looking back at Rachel to let her know to follow. "So since we have time to waste, I can give you a tour. This is obviously the kitchen. Complete with the stereotypical fridge full of old crayon drawings and photos."

She walks them through one of the door ways, into a wide open room. "This is the living room. Again, with the standard rich person huge, flat screen TV. Through here is the hallway, and of course it's lined with pictures of me and my sister." She wonders if Rachel can pick up on the bitterness in her tone. Quinn knows she should appreciate what she has, and she does, but she's often reminded of how meaningless it all is.

Rachel steps close to a family picture. "I should have known your family would look like models."

It shouldn't make her blush, but it does. Quinn has prided herself on her looks, and the last few years she's lived for compliments like that, but part of being the new Quinn is being humble, so to be indirectly complimented by Rachel...it's just such a beautiful thing. Her mind flashes back to prom, when even amidst hers and Rachel's fighting, the shorter girl told Quinn she was the prettiest girl she'd ever met. She knows she's silly for holding on to that, but that doesn't stop her from latching on to it.

Unsure of what to say in response to Rachel without seeming cocky or demure, she chooses to move them up the stairs to her room. For some reasons shes the most nervous about this room. Not just because of the thought of having Rachel Berry alone with her in her room, although _that_ does inspire certain thoughts and feelings, but the fact that this is her sanctuary and it's letting Rachel see another piece of her.

"That's just the guest room to the left." She points further up ahead. "That's my Franny's old room. My sister. And this room on the right is my room."

Quinn opens the door slowly, and she pictures, for a moment, this scene made into a movie, dramatic organ music playing as it gets louder and louder until the door opens all the way, and then it suddenly stops.

"It's much different than my room," Rachel says as she walks in fully. She looks around, eyes lingering on the book shelf that's over flowing with books both new and worn. "My shelves are filled with albums."

"And I'm guessing the walls have Barbra Streisand memorabilia?" Quinn says.

"While I do get the feeling you are teasing me-" Rachel says with an indignant smile, "Yes they do. That's actually one of the things I remember, loving her work."

Quinn tucks that information away for later, though she's not sure what she's going to do with it. She's just happy to have this tidbit of information about Rachel.

"Well this is pretty much it," Quinn says. "I really just sleep and read in here."

"I like it." Quinn inwardly puffs up at the praise. "I think it's awesome you love to read so much. Have you read most of the books?"

She flushes and looks down at the carpet. "Or maybe all of them," she admits shyly.

Rachel looks over at her with wide eyes. "Really? That's impressive! There are some pretty thick books in here. A lot of classics too. Although I do notice a distinct lack of Twilight."

Quinn raises her eyebrows at Rachel.

The tan girl holds her hands up. "My dad's may have caught me up to speed in that regard as well. Remember Quinn, gay dads."

"Well you're right, no Twilight. I prefer older books in general, though I admit to reading and re-reading all the Harry Potters."

Rachel nods thoughtfully as she continues to silently read off the book titles. Quinn stands up straight, as though she's at Cheerios practice and Coach Sylvester is measuring the team's BMI. She, once again, feels like this is pivotal and she's being sized up, though Rachel hasn't made any indication that that's what this is.

She just wants Rachel to like her room, because she knows how important metaphors are – or were- to Rachel, and her room is just a metaphor for Quinn. Because just like her room, Quinn has lots of personal things locked up inside of her, things she purposely hides and she just so badly wants Rachel's approval. The walls of her room hold up more than the ceiling; they hold up Quinn herself, and if she's committed to letting Rachel in, she wants to prepare to have those walls torn down, because she has to figure out how to stand up without that support.

"Even though I'm disappointed about the butler," Rachel gives a fake, disgruntled sigh, "I really do like your house, Quinn."

"Thanks," Quinn says shyly, her thoughts from before still prominent. She wants to tell Rachel that Quinn's sure she'd like Rachel's house, too, but she has no way of saying it without sounding like Puck trying to get in some girl's pants.

"So what should we do until we go to Kurt's? I'm sorry that I'm so bad at this," Rachel says softly, "I just don't remember how these things go."

Quinn feels sorry for Rachel, too. Because she doubts pre-crash Rachel would know either, because she was never invited to hang out with people that often. And it's largely Quinn's fault. She spent way too much time trying to make Rachel's life as miserable as her life was. She's just thankful she wasn't able to get the best of Rachel. It's one of the main reasons she was – and still is – so drawn to the brown haired girl.

"It's okay," Quinn assures her. "Don't feel bad about something you can't control. It probably just means I should be a better host. But we could go get some snacks for Kurt's."

Rachel looks confused. "But...I thought Kurt was providing snacks?

The blonde reddens quickly and looks away, completely embarrassed for setting herself up like this. She curses her paler complexion, because it reddens so quickly and takes forever to return to it's normal shade.

"Oh well...Yeah he is, but..." How can she explain this without sounding like Jacob Ben-Israel telling Rachel he watches her from outside her window?

"But?" Rachel prompts.

Quinn releases a breath and mentally tells herself to grow a pair. If she can deal with people talking about her being pregnant, she can handle this. Hell, if she can handle Coach Sylvester's three years of Cheerios, she could probably handle anything.

"It's just that, you're vegan and I don't think Kurt really knows that...or, I guess understands it completely, and I doubt he'll have stuff there you can eat." _Probably could have spit that out a little faster, Quinn_, she berates herself sarcastically.

"Oh," Rachel says, obviously surprised. Quinn isn't sure if it's good or not, but she's trying her best not to keep staring at Rachel.

"That's really nice of you, Quinn,"she finally says. "I didn't think about that. I mean my dads told me I was vegan and we've eaten accordingly, but I guess I kind of forgot."

Once again Quinn is painfully reminded of the differences between the two Rachels. The old Rachel – and Quinn really hates referring to her like that – wouldn't have put up with that. She would have ranted and explained (in paragraphs) why veganism is such a better alternative.

The head cheerleader knows it's not fair to keep comparing the two Rachels, because Rachel doesn't deserve it. She's been compared to everyone else her whole high school career, and to be matched up against herself, how can she win? But it doesn't stop her from doing it.

She wonders if the two Rachel's will ever merge, or if they'll be forever separated, and one will eventually win.

"Well let's do that," Quinn decides, eager to keep her thoughts away from their current musings. She's always been a thinker, for better or worse, and she's doesn't mind forcing these down until later.

They make their way back through the house, Quinn once again grabbing their bags and loading them in the car. She gets in the car and starts it before she notices Rachel is standing outside the car, looking sheepish.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

Rachel meets her gaze but looks down quickly. "It's just, I didn't plan on going anywhere but home after school, so I didn't bring any money with me."

Quinn blanches. "Seriously? _That's_ what you're concerned about?" Rachel nods slightly. "Well in cases you haven't noticed, my family has money, and I think we can afford to buy a few snacks without breaking the bank."

"Okay," Rachel says simply, but she gives Quinn a small smile that reminds the blonde of how worth it it is.

With that, Rachel climbs in the car, and Quinn is pleased to see she still has that small smile on her face. It's enough to bring one to her own face, and she feels her heart flutter happily as she drive them to the closest store. With this feeling, she feels like she can tackle anything, let alone Kurt's little get together.


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: **Sorry for the delay. My internet decided it wanted to die, so obviously posting was out of the question. Plot will progress, fear not, I just want to make things more realistic, and that does not include Rachel suddenly remembering everything or her and Quinn being magically in love with each after Rachel being back for one day. If that's what you're expecting, you'll probably be disappointed. Both girls are in bad spots right now. Rachel knows nobody, and Quinn has no idea how to proceed, friendship or other, so for them to be together after two days it not likely - at least not in anything I'm writing. But stick with me, I promise to deliver :) Keep in mind that Rachel and Quinn do discuss things in this chapter but that does not mean that everything is sunshine and rainbows. Much love to all!  
_

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**Chapter 7  
**

Grocery stores aren't meant to be fun, at least not once you're past the age of getting prizes whenever you go, or feeling so important and grown up because your parents let you steer the cart. But Quinn can easily say that their trip was amazing.

She's kind of glad she never did this before with Rachel, because it's so wonderful being able to do it for the first time, and she wouldn't want it overshadowed by past experiences.

Previous interactions with Rachel never alluded to how easy it could be to spend time with her. Never did she think that once they stopped arguing, or, more accurately, once Quinn stopped being such a heinous bitch, they'd get along great.

Or maybe she was aware of that possibility, which is why she ran from it so determinedly. Whatever the reason, Quinn wouldn't trade this moment for anything. She wonders if Rachel is feeling the same way, if the girl feels the same connection. Because Quinn has the advantage. Rachel, as different as she may be, isn't a stranger to Quinn. But the blonde doesn't want to push her feelings for Rachel on the girl and misread the signals. Everyone knows how nice Rachel can be. Obviously, or all the people who slushy and bully her would have probably been punched in the face by now – or sued by the ACLU.

So it's really hard for her to tell what's real and what's she's projecting. But despite not knowing that, she does know that Rachel enjoyed it, too. The smaller girl exuded warmth and happiness the entire trip, and it fed into Quinn, making her almost too warm, though she won't complain for a second.

It just makes it hard on Quinn. She's already too far gone, and Rachel isn't anywhere close. Whatever Rachel remembers (or doesn't remember), she and Quinn aren't anything more than fellow Glee Club members and school mates. It's a harsh reality, but one Quinn needs thrown in her face so she can slow down a little.

But with Rachel smiling, brown eyes shining happily as they pull up to Kurt's house, it's really hard to remember to go slow.

Kurt flings the door open before they can even knock, letting them know the boy was watching them. "Hello, ladies."

He's changed outfits from school, and Quinn can't help it that she glances over him critically. She has gotten better, she really has, but she really doesn't care for Kurt, and being at his house, she feels like she's already at a disadvantage. It's situations like this that made her bitchy persona so necessary, so that she could have an edge over everyone else.

"Hi, Kurt," Rachel says in a friendly tone.

When Rachel turns to look at Quinn, she sighs and says, "Hey Kurt." She was perfectly fine not talking to him more than necessary.

"Tina and 'cedes are already inside." He ushers them inside and then pulls Rachel aside. "Finn wanted to speak with you for a second."

Quinn frowns disapprovingly. She had temporarily forgotten that Finn would be there as well. She wonders if the "NO!" she's telepathically sending Rachel is getting through to the girl. She doubts it.

"Um, sure," Rachel says, walking in the direction Kurt is pointing.

Quinn watches Finn step into the hallway, greeting Rachel with a huge smile. Even though he doesn't hug her, Quinn still glares when he puts a hand on Rachel's back to gently lead her to his room.

"Shall we?" Kurt asks, all prim and proper, like he doesn't feel about Quinn the same way she feels for him.

He doesn't comment on the look Quinn gave Finn, but she doesn't know if he didn't catch it or he's waiting to use it against her. She desperately hopes it's the first one.

"He just wanted to talk to her for a minute, right? I can just wait on her."

This time Kurt does give her a pointed look. "Finn can bring her when they're done..._talking_."

She hates the way he says that. Quinn knows it was deliberate, and she's reminded of why she doesn't like the pale skinned boy. But as much as she'd love to stay and argue with Kurt over why she should wait for Rachel, she knows there's no point, so she follows him to what she guesses is the living room. She's really not a snob, but she can't help but look down on the small, poorly decorated room. Is it wrong she expected it to be decorated to the max, what with Kurt living there?

"Hey Quinn," Mercedes says happily, walking up to her and giving her a smile. "Where's Rachel?"

"Hey," Quinn replies in kind. She has always gotten along Mercedes, even if she can be as big of a diva as Rachel at times. Mercedes was there when Quinn had no one, and she won't ever forget that. "She's with Finn." She tries to keep her tone neutral.

"Oh," Mercedes says in a knowing tone, and Quinn is tired of people insinuating something is happening between the two Glee captains other than talking.

Wanting to not think about the pair, she walks over to Tina and smiles. "Hey Tina."

The Asian girl looks surprised at being addressed by the cheerleader. "H-hey Quinn."

Quinn like Tina. She seemed to never treat Quinn like she was evil, or, conversely, like she was a god. Tina really never interacted with the blonde that much, but there always seemed to be some sort of truce with them, even though Quinn doesn't really know why.

"What should I do with these?" Quinn holds up the bag of snacks.

"Quinn, you didn't have to bring anything," Mercedes says.

She shrugs. "These are for Rachel. We weren't sure if you'd have anything vegan."

Kurt flushes, and Quinn knows that she was right in assuming he didn't remember. She didn't even pretend to consider that Finn would remember. The guy only dated Rachel for most of high school after all, not like he would remember something important like that.

"I'll take them," Kurt says quickly, grabbing the bag with what Quinn feels is more fore than necessary. It makes her smile a little to know she's already getting to him.

She ignores the boy's hostility and takes a seat by Mercedes. "So what have you guys been up to so far?"

"Nothing," the black girl responds. "Kurt wanted to wait on Rachel before he began our gossip hour."

"I even s-suggested a card game, but he said no." Tina stares at the floor the whole time.

"Tina," Mercedes says with an eye roll, "the stuttering can stop any time now."

"S-sorry," the Asian girl offers, ducking sheepishly, "I just really am nervous this time." She eyes Quinn for a second.

"There's no need to be," Quinn assures her, in what she hopes is a friendly tone. Having never really talked to Tina that much, she's not really sure what to say or how to say it.

Tina smiles easily and nods happily. "I think it's really nice how you've helped Rachel today."

"Yeah, me too," Mercedes adds. "Glad to see you making an effort to help her out. I figured you'd take this as an opportunity to put some distance between you two."

She doesn't say it meanly, and Quinn appreciates her friend's gentle words. If it was Santana, many more random nicknames and expletives would have been thrown in.

The blonde shrugs in response, as though it's not a big deal. "I have a lot to make up for."

"Isn't that the truth." Kurt walks in the room, giving her a solid look.

"We all do," Quinn turns back at him, holding his stare. "I never claimed to be a saint."

"Look, we both know I only invited you because of Rachel. I obviously didn't want to say this in front of her, but whatever scheme you have, you might as well stop it now. I'm on to you." He crosses his arm over his ridiculous sweater vest.

Quinn wants to grab his collar and shake him and shout at him and tell him that it's like eighty degrees outside and therefore a sweater vest isn't needed. But she forces herself to be calm, because Kurt of all people shouldn't get to her. "Good luck," she says evenly, "because there is no scheme."

Kurt scoffs but under her steady gaze, he turns away. It's with good timing, too, because not a moment later Rachel walks in, face unreadable.

"So," Kurt jumps in, switching gears quickly. "How did it go with Finn?"

Quinn watches Mercedes eyes light up in anticipation of juicy gossip, and even Tina shifts forward a tiny bit. Quinn hasn't decided if she wants to know or not.

Rachel sits down on the vacant sofa cushion by Quinn. "It was fine. He was just asking if I remembered anything and if I'd want to hang out with him sometime."

The blonde feels her blood boil, even with the conversation seeming pretty innocent in nature. She has half a mind to march to Finn's room and remind him what Scary Quinn (as he stupidly called her) is like.

"Wow, back one day and he's already asking for a date. Boy's got it bad for you," Mercedes says.

"Yeah," Tina chimes in, apparently over her shyness. "He totally came up with the idea for us to sing to you today."

Quinn internally rolls her eyes. Oh great, another Finn the Great group session. She was totally hoping they could all shove Rachel back into the tall boy's arms.

"So he said." Rachel's face is stoic, and Quinn doesn't know what to make of it. "So, what did you guys want to talk about?"

Kurt seems a bit put off by the subject change, but everyone knows he never turns down a chance to gossip. "Hmm, we'll talk about Finn later. Now," he claps excitedly, "we catch you up on what you don't remember. Mercedes, you're up."

Mercedes primps herself humorously, earning a reluctant smile from Quinn. "Okay, so I thought this might be helpful, so I brought some photos of you from the past few years."

She pulls out last year's year book, turning until she gets to the section dedicated to McKinley's clubs. Rachel looks at the page with wide eyes. "I was in German Club? I didn't even know I knew German."

"Yep," the black girl says, pointing to the next page. "And sewing, and astronomy, and chess..."

"Wow," Rachel says with a laugh. "I'm not sure whether to be impressed or embarrassed with myself. That sure is a lot."

"She hasn't even turned the page," Kurt tells her seriously.

Mercedes flips the page and Rachel sits back when she sees herself in five more club photos. "Golf club? I play golf!? And I'm in the marching band!?"

The group shrugs. They still aren't really sure how the small girl managed it, but they don't want to admit to Rachel that none of them really cared enough to ask.

"And - oh my gosh - what am I wearing? Please tell me I am in the argyle club too?"

A loud laugh escapes Quinn, and she blushes as she tries to play it off. "Sorry," she mumbles as the group stares at her.

"Unfortunately there was no excuse for that outfit," Kurt says, shaking his head. "That would be part of the reason you get slushied so much."

Rachel's eyes narrow in question. "Slushied?"

The boy claps his hands again. "Oh goodie, that means it's my turn now!"

Quinn finds herself wanting to leave the room. She really doesn't want to be here for this part. Her eyes flit around, trying to decide if she can escape in a convincing manner.

"You know of the ice drink, right?" Tina asks, waiting for the brunette to nod. "Well the popular kids throw slushies on us."

Rachel brings her hands to her mouth. "What? That's horrible! And how do they even get them? And why do they throw them? Don't the teachers do anything?"

"Ha," Kurt scoffs, "we wish. Some one decided it would be a great idea to have a slushie machine in school for the students to enjoy. That soon turned to the popular kids using it as a torture device. The school doesn't do anything about it because Figgins, the useless principle, sees it as profit for the school."

"Okay," Rachel says slowly. "And so why do we get them thrown at us?"

"Excellent question. You want to take this one, Quinn?" He turns and stares at her pointedly, stupid sweater vest clad arms crossed over his chest. His perfect eyebrows arch up challengingly.

Despite not wanting to be bullied by Kurt, Quinn feels so tiny sitting on the decent sized couch, and she wishes she could just shrink enough to sink in between the cushions.

"Not really," she says softly, purposely avoiding Rachel's gaze.

She feels guilty about what she's done to the Gleeks, but Rachel most of all, because she received the worst of it.

"Quinn?" Rachel asks, sliding closer to force Quinn's gaze.

Her eyes flick up unwillingly. She doesn't want to do this, not now, but she owes this to Rachel, more than the diva will understand. "There wasn't any reason. Just because they – we – could." She swallows thickly. "We wanted to embarrass you guys and make sure you knew you were beneath us."

Her heart is in her throat, and she doesn't know where to look. The ground is tempting, mostly because she wants it to open up and take her in, but by looking at the ground she can see Rachel's feet, which makes her think of Rachel, which makes her guilt multiply. She didn't want to do this in front of everyone, and she's so angry at Kurt right now, it almost competes with her shame.

"Mission accomplished," he says snarkily. "But you know, I thought with the baby and everything, you'd realize that, just because you're pretty, doesn't meant you're not human just like the rest of us."

Mission accomplished for Kurt as well, she can't help but think. She officially feels like dirt. The thick skin she prided herself on developing since Beth has proven to be paper thin.

"Kurt," Mercedes chides softly.

But Quinn isn't stupid, she knows that the bigger girl agrees with him. Tina too. She is an idiot for thinking people would be able to forgive her for a few months of a truce in comparison to years of torture.

"It's okay," the blonde says. "Believe what you want, but not a second goes by that I don't regret it." She looks over to Rachel, watching her look at Quinn like she is meeting her for the first time – again.

"You did that to us? To me?"

Kurt walks over and stands in front of the girls. "What she did to us wasn't anywhere close to what she gave you. Sure, we got slushied somewhat often, but Rachel, she sought you out daily. Slushie facials, rumors, horrid nicknames. She made school a nightmare for you."

"Kurt," Mercedes says louder, eyes on Quinn, watching her reaction. "That's enough."

He sits down but doesn't look pleased about following the order. His pale face is twisted in apparent dislike, even as he plucks at his finger nails.

"I just..." Rachel breathes softly. "Why me?"

"Not here," Quinn chokes out. "Please. I have no right to ask this, not of you, but please."

The Glee captain nods with a light sigh. "Okay," she says, too understanding as always.

Quinn stands up and grabs her purse. "I shouldn't have come. I knew that, but I thought...I really don't know. But I'm sorry. For everything. You never deserved it, and I know that doesn't make it better but...it's all I have."

"Quinn!" Tina calls out after her, surprising everyone. It's shocking enough to cause the blonde to turn around. "I know what you did was horrible, but...th-thanks for apologizing. I know you've changed." She gives the cheerleader a small smile, and even though Quinn feels absolutely miserable, she feels her heart lighten slightly.

"Thanks, Tina." She walks out the door, muttering a small bye to Mercedes qho echos it in a soft, apologetic tone. It makes Quinn feel worse that Mercedes feels bad.

She doesn't say anything to Kurt, and she's glad that he doesn't say anything else to her. She wants to fall on her knees in apology, but at the same time, she wants to punch him in his stupid pale face. She knew this would happen, but he had her come, knowing he could call her out in front of everyone. It makes her so mad how much he attacks everyone else when he's just as bad.

Her car door shuts and she leans her head against the steering wheel. Tears are threatening to fall, and she can't believe how worked up she's allowed herself to get. But she knows it's all Rachel. It's always Rachel who has brought out these extreme emotions, and she's never known how to handle them. Well, except by throwing insults at the girl, but Quinn knows that was just sweeping them under the rug.

A tap on her window makes her jump, and she's surprised to see it's Rachel until she remembers she drove the girl. "Sorry," she says as she rolls the window down, "I forgot you rode with me. But you can get a ride from Finn. He drives you home all the time."

Her voice sounds as robotic as it feels, but she'll take that over the brokenness she expected.

"Look," Rachel says, leaning into the window so she can look at Quinn better. "Obviously I don't remember you doing that stuff, but we both know it's not okay. Mercedes and Tina assured my you haven't done anything to me this year, and I appreciate the change...I just...I want to know why? Why did you do those things to me, and why did you stop?"

Quinn sighs. "Get in."

"What?"

She leans over and opens the passenger door. "Get in. I promise I'll explain it to you. Unless you aren't ready to leave?" she says, suddenly uncertain.

Rachel looks at her for a moment, obviously weighing the pros and cons. "Okay," she says softly.

"You can tell them bye."

Rachel shrugs. "I kind of already did."

The blonde makes a small noise and starts the car, turning to look so she can back out of Kurt's driveway. She's hoping Rachel will start them off, even though that's an unfair thing to expect. When seconds go by in silence, Quinn realizes she'll have to grow up and start.

"I'm glad you don't remember how I was, because I really was awful. I mean I wish I could say they were being dramatic or exaggerating, but really, sadly, they weren't." She stares ahead, watching the road but not really paying attention as her thoughts swirl around inside her head. She's been planning this talk for so long that she kind of doesn't know how to piece everything together.

"I was your typical popular girl. Cheerleader, good grades, quarterback boyfriend, bitch..." she smiles when Rachel laughs lightly. "And, to complete the cliché, as insecure as I could be. I mean, I knew I was pretty and smart and everyone wanted to be me, but that's never enough, and I hated everyone who wasn't popular that seemed to be okay with it."

Rachel takes it all in stride, nodding along. "Okay...so where do I come in? Was I a wannabe or something? Did I steal your boyfriend or something?"

Quinn laughs at the irony. "Actually yes." Rachel inhales sharply. "But it really wasn't that big of a deal, and that's not really part of it. You'd think that would at least be a legitimate reason, but I didn't care about that. But anyway, here's me, popular, future prom queen/homecoming queen, top of the word, cheerleading captain, rich...just all around perfect..."

"Then comes Rachel Berry; all argyle, loud voice, great singing voice, New York bound and you just were so sure of yourself. You didn't care that people picked on you for your clothes. You didn't care that we called you stupid, horrible names. You knew you had an amazing voice, and you knew you were getting out of stupid Lima, Ohio, and it killed us – the popular crowd. We all tried so hard to be accepted, and it just didn't seem like that mattered to you."

She pauses as the car stops at a red light and looks at Rachel, watching her process everything so far. "I know you are listening to this and still wondering why you were targeted." Rachel nods slowly. "There was no good reason. There never is, really, for why kids get picked on. But we were all jealous. _I_ was jealous. You were practically a nobody, yet my boyfriend wanted you, you had two parents, not conventional, I might add, who loved you and supported you and never wanted you to be anyone other than who you were, and... I just hated you, in a way. I hated that with everything I had going for me, I still wanted to be you."

"And God," Quinn laughs humorously, "I really wish you remembered all of this, because this would be so much more meaningful. But by the same token, I'm glad you don't remember, because at least you don't fully grasp how awful I was. Hearing about it is so much better than remembering living through it."

Rachel just stares for a long moment, processing what all she's been told. Quinn isn't surprised it's overwhelming. "Wow...I mean, I never would have guessed that. Is that why you've been so nice to me today? As some kind of debt to pay?"

"Partly," she admits. "But the old Quinn was too stubborn to be your friend, even though you offered many, many times."

"...and the new Quinn?" Rachel asks.

"Is doing her best to be better. She's not perfect, but for once, she's actually content with that."

Rachel nods, and Quinn realizes that it's a nod of forgiveness and acceptance. She almost prefers these wordless answers as opposed to the lengthy responses.

They arrive at Rachel's house, riding out the silence from Quinn's confessions. There's still so much she owes Rachel, but Quinn feels so much better with what she's been able to tell her.

"Well, I didn't really get to hear too much about myself tonight..."

Quinn grimaces guiltily. "I'm sorry. I really didn't plan on all that tonight."

"Eh, it's okay." The brunette grabs her stuff from the backseat and shuts the door, once again leaning inside the passenger window to look at Quinn. "It was nice not being the only one to not know what was going on," she teases.

Quinn allows a smile before sobering. "There's so much more I'd like to tell you." Definite understatement. Poor Rachel just got unknowingly enrolled in Quinn's Repression 101.

"They'll be plenty of time for that, right? Although, next time, can we not make it all about you?" She tilts her head playfully. "I would like to hear about myself from time to time. You know, learn what old Rachel was like, so I can remember how to be her."

Even though that's selfishly what Quinn wants, it pains her to hear Rachel say that, even in jest. "Old Rachel was great, definitely, but...take it from Old Quinn...New is better."

Rachel gives her a bright smile, all white teeth and crinkled nose. She turns seriously shortly after. "Well I can't really speak for old Rachel, but...New Rachel forgives Old Quinn."

The blonde feels her heart stop. God, Rachel is just..

"Huh," she says in realization.

"What?" Rachel prods.

Quinn meets her eyes gently. "You have more in common with Old Rachel than you realize."

Rachel smiles again, and though this one is smaller, it's infinitely better. Quinn can feel it all the way to her toes. "I'll see you Monday," she says in as normal of a tone as possible.

"See you," Rachel returns, and then she's turning around to go back in her house. When she reaches her front door she waves, giving Quinn a smile for making sure she gets in safely.

Once Rachel is inside, Quinn makes quick work of heading to her house. She greets her mother politely, turning down any attempts to talk by saying she's tired. Judy smiles in understanding and hugs her briefly before heading back to the living room.

Quinn turns off her light and climbs in to bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark of her room, reflecting on the past hours. It didn't go like she expected, but that's okay. She's not really sure how she expected that particular conversation to go anyway, but it went better than she could have ever predicted.

But, she realizes, as she turns on her side and pulls the cover over her shoulders, she should have expected that.

She should have known things would go better than she deserved.

She should have known that Rachel Berry would, once again, amaze her in the best ways possible.


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: **All I can say is work, work, work. Sorry again for this being so late, work has been kicking me in the butt, only to turn around and kick me in the face, so yeah. But here it is. Thanks, always, for the reviews!  
_

_To the ANON who said they couldn't finish the chapter because of the ganging up on Quinn, I'm sorry you didn't like it, but I don't believe in having Quinn and Rachel's relationship just brush by the whole bullying thing. Not that it is the focus of this story, but it did happen and it's something Quinn will have to deal with. Sorry that that's not what you wanted to read, but I wanted Rachel and Quinn to have to deal with it._

_To every one else, thanks again for the love. I promise more progress with Rachel's memories and relationship with Quinn will happen, so just hang on and enjoy the ride.  
_

* * *

**Chapter 8  
**

The days seem to pass quickly, and before Quinn and any one else has realized it, Rachel has been back for almost two weeks. Though, if Quinn is being honest, she _has_ realized it, but only because each day is stored in her mind.

She has actively avoided Kurt. It's not too hard, considering their social circles don't cross, but he seems to be making a huge effort to include Rachel, which makes Quinn watch (subtly, longingly) from her table full of other Cheerios. The pale boy and her seem to have reached an unspoken agreement, a truce, of sorts. He isn't going to apologize for attacking her, and he's not going to force her to apologize for what she's done. It's not the best, but in high school, it works.

Rachel tries her best to mediate, and it makes Quinn smile briefly as the brunette tries her hardest to include both of them in conversations. She seems unwilling to believe that Quinn really is okay with the Kurt situation. Sure, she wishes it wouldn't have gone down like that, but as much of an attack it was, it – in a strange way- felt good for both of them to clear the air; for Kurt to vent and Quinn to apologize.

It doesn't stop the Glee captain from trying again and again, though both Kurt and Quinn relish in the attention and concern. She assumes if they were both girls or both guys, the situation would probably be over with quicker or dragged out longer, but it seems stupid to dwell on their practically non-existent relationship.

The other Gleeks couldn't really care less, too concerned with their own lives, and even if nothing was going on, Santana wouldn't _give two shits about it_, as she so sweetly informed Quinn. Really all any of the kids seem caught up with is Rachel and her memory.

Finn continues to try the hardest, and it's difficult to watch, for multiple reasons. Old Quinn would have relished in the quarterback's failure, but these days, it feels like her own heart clenches as she watches him watch Rachel expectantly. As if the next song they sing will bring everything back. She's pretty sure even Santana feels a little remorse, and that's saying something.

"So I really think you should sing, Rachel."

The blonde bites her lip. This is an every day occurrence, Finn gently urging Rachel to sing.

Rachel looks just as panicked as she did her first day back. "I- I'm really not ready. What if I'm awful?"

He smiles at her encouragingly. "Nah, you're Rachel, that's not possible." Rachel smiles weakly. "Besides, maybe it'll help spark something."

And there it is. Even when he doesn't say that, it's hanging on so heavily in undertones.

"Finn..."

"Just try it!" He's still smiling, though it's dampening slowly.

"I'd really rather not," Rachel says softly, brown eyes pleading.

"Finn," Mr. Schue says gently, "why don't we have some one else sing." He gives Rachel a weak smile.

"But...But if you just tried!" Finn looks at Rachel helplessly.

The short girl looks down at the ground. "I'm really sorry, Finn."

_Sorry for not remembering_, Quinn adds silently for the girl.

"Yeah, but what if it helps!?" He throws his arms up, pleading so desperately that his eyes start to water. He drops his arms as everyone stares at him with such pitying looks. "You just won't even try," he says brokenly, and then he walks out the door, and Quinn wonders how such a tall guy can look so small.

"I...I'm sorry." Rachel has a hand over her mouth, and Quinn watches her leave out the same door as Finn.

She wants to know if she should follow. She wants to, of course, but _should_ she? Her eyes flick to the other Glee members who are sharing sad glances, surprisingly quiet considering who all is in the club.

"I don't think we've gone a whole class without people leaving," Santana observes. She _would_ be the first to recover, Quinn thinks.

"It's sad," Brittany says. "I don't think I've ever seen Rachel not want to sing."

"Yeah," Puck nods, "usually she's yapping in between her singing. Kinda miss it." He shrugs at the irony.

Everyone nods in agreement, and Quinn feels out of place in their moment. Not that she doesn't agree, but she's never been one for group kumbayas, and talking about the past Rachel is making her ache. She needs to leave, and she doubts any one will stop her, considering the two people who pretty much run the whole show aren't even present.

"I guess we're done for today." She grabs her bag and offers Mr. Schue an apologetic smile. "See you tomorrow, Mr. Schue."

Her hand pushes the door to the hallway open, and the sound of Rachel crying washes over her. The instinct to flee is battling with her deeper desire to comfort, and she stands frozen for a moment, seeing which one will win.

"I am so, so sorry," she hears Rachel say, and she catches two shadows around the corner, realizing it's Finn and Rachel.

"I'm just trying to help," Finn explains lamely. "The doctors said-"

"I know what they said," Rachel cuts in sharply. "God, I'm sorry," she says again.

Quinn takes a few quiet steps closer. She really shouldn't be so nosy, but it's Rachel and Finn, and she's not even trying to stop herself.

Finn's tall shadow moves closer to Rachel's. "It's not your fault. I don't mean to pressure you, I just...I want you to remember, so much."

"I know," Rachel breathes out. "But Finn..."

She drops off, and Quinn silently curses the normally loquacious girl. Her curiosity carries her a few feet closer.

"What?"

"I think you need to know that...that I might not regain my memories back."

The cheerleader's breath catches, and she hears a matching gasp from Finn. "But...but the doctors..."

"The doctors said maybe," Rachel reminds him, though her voice is gentle.

"Yeah, but..."

She sees his large shoulders drop in defeat.

"But you won't try things that might help."

"Finn."

Quinn gets close enough to see slightly around the corner, the back of Finn visible. He's slouching even more than normal, and she kind of wants to reach out a hand to lay on his shoulder.

"I just don't get it. Don't you want to remember?"

Rachel huffs softly. "Of course I do, but I'm trying to be realistic. There's a good chance I won't remember, at least not everything. And yeah, I'll be so ecstatic if I do get my memory back, but...But I feel like that's a very big if."

"Stop it," Finn says, back suddenly straight as he stands tall and rigid.

"I can't live in the shadow of old Rachel."

"Stop!" he says again, voice a little louder.

"I can't be around you when every moment you're expecting me to remember. It's..." she lets out a sob. "It's unbearable. I can't live with that pressure on me. Feeling like ever time I don't remember, I'm letting you down."

"I'll change. I'll be more patient," he promises weakly, leaning until he's closer to Rachel.

"Finn."

Quinn really wishes Rachel would stop saying his name like that. Broken and apologetic, and it's eating her up inside, so she can only imagine what it's doing to Finn.

"Please."

"Please don't wait for me to remember. Don't make this harder than it is."

"You don't know how hard it is!" Finn shouts. "You don't remember how much I love you. You don't remember that you love me!"

"That's just it, Finn. I don't remember. And you're not being fair to me, or even yourself, by hanging on. I'm not your Rachel, Finn."

And God, Quinn really wishes Rachel would just _shut up_! Just stop talking and breaking both Finn's and Quinn's heart, because this is torture. Her eyes are burning, and she feels it creeping up inside her again, the urge to slap Rachel just to make her stop!

Because Rachel isn't just talking to Finn. All those words are shooting straight to the blonde. She might as well be standing beside the boy as Rachel steps on his heart, even as she's doing it as delicately as possible.

Quinn looks up as she hears loud steps stomp away from her, and she doesn't have to look to know it's Finn. The next thing she hears is a muffled bang, and she registers that Rachel has fallen back on the lockers. The sobs that come next cause her to move around the corner, guiltily meeting Rachel's red trimmed gaze.

"I-" she drops off as Rachel's miserable look deepens. She wasn't sure what she was going to say anyway.

Sorry?

Sorry I listened to your conversation. Sorry your month back has been more drama filled than practically your whole high school career. Sorry you don't remember. Sorry I can't fix it.

Rachel stands up slightly, choking out a pathetic, "hi."

The simple word makes Quinn want to laugh, as if Rachel and Finn didn't just have a hellish break up thirty seconds ago.

"Hey," she says back, moving beside Rachel to mimic her posture.

"How much did you hear?"

Quinn briefly considers lying. "Most." Rachel nods. "I'm sorry," she offers, knowing it's lame.

" 's okay."

"I wasn't just talking about listening."

Brown eyes shift to meet hers for a fleeting moment. "I know."

And Quinn gets the feeling she does. That Rachel hears all the sorry's shoved into that one apology.

They stay in silence for a while, Quinn inwardly debating with herself on questioning Rachel or waiting, and Rachel dwelling on what all happened.

"Do you think it get's easier?" Rachel finally says.

Quinn turns to look at her. "With Finn?"

Rachel shakes her head. "Not remembering?"

She can't hold eye contact with that possibility. "You seemed resigned to that," she says evenly.

"It's not that. I just- I don't want to set myself up for all this optimism only to have it crash around me."

Quinn gets that. That was her whole line of thinking when she was pregnant. She tried to ignore that what ifs and focus only on what was. But that was an awful way to handle it. Never seeing the light at the end of the tunnel dooms you to be submerged in darkness.

"True, but the old Rachel wouldn't have settle for that."

"But that's just it, dammit!" Rachel hits the locker and turns sharply to face Quinn. "I'm not the old Rachel! No matter how much everyone wishes I was."

Quinn is stunned by the short girl's anger. She's never seen Rachel react so passionately in such a negative way about something.

"I'm sorry!" she cries out miserably. "I'm just waiting for the day when every one let's me step out of Rachel's shadow. Why is every one so hung up on her anyway? From what you guys said, I was a loser who was bullied pretty much every single day. Why would I want to go back to that?"

Her flawless white Cheerio shoes carry her right in front of Rachel, waiting for Rachel's head to lift up to cross gazes. "Because that Rachel _is_ special," Quinn says softly. "Because all those things that were against her only made her work harder. And that's something that's inside of Rachel, that's inside of you!"

"So yeah," she continues, "maybe we are expecting you to remember, but you can't be mad at us for that. I understand it's a lot of pressure on you, but we just are worried about you."

"You don't pressure me to remember. Do you not believe I'll recover? Is that why?" Rachel's brown eyes are shining with insecurity. Quinn didn't think she'd ever see that look unless it was in a mirror.

Quinn laughs at that, though she sobers quickly when Rachel recoils slightly. "No, that's not it at all."

Rachel crosses her arms. "So you think I will remember?"

"I honestly have no idea." And she doesn't. But these days she's found a new hope in seeing the bright side of life. Rachel has brought that out.

"And if I do?"

The taller girl considers this. "Then I'm sure there will be a huge Glee blow out."

Rachel smiles slightly. "And if I don't?"

She shrugs, choosing not to dwell too much on it. "Then you rediscover who Rachel Berry is."

The Jewish girl hums thoughtfully. "And who is Rachel Berry?"

Their eyes meet again, brown against hazel, and Quinn has to remind herself to not say 'Everything,' in response.

"Isn't that for you to decide?" she says instead, watching as Rachel shifts off the locker and then suddenly wraps her arms around Quinn tightly.

"Thank you," is murmured into her shoulder, and Rachel's grip tightens as Quinn's arms close around Rachel's smaller body.

And Quinn can't help but feel like – selfishly, in this moment- Rachel's memory loss is worth it. Her arms just stay loose around the smaller girl, but only because she's such a cliché, not sure if she'll be able to let go. So for now she allows her arms to stay where they are and simply let everything that is Rachel take her over in this moment.

When they let go, Quinn prays that her face doesn't look as red as it feels. But when she sees the thankful smile on Rachel's face, she can't really say that she cares all that much.

"So at least we aren't complete strangers anymore, or that would have been awkward."

Quinn tries to imagine if Rachel would have done that before her memory loss. It's hard to picture, even knowing how tactile the diva is.

"At least it's not Santana you're hugging."

Rachel's face furrows. "I don't see how that scenario would ever be possible."

"She hugged me once," Quinn says, watching Rachel's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "At cheerleading camp in seventh grade."

The brown haired girl snorts indelicately. "Did you drop the spirit stick?"

Quinn levels her with a faux glare. "No, thank you very much. I caught her and Brittany kissing and after she came at me yelling and screaming and threatening – typical Santana- I told her I wouldn't tell. So then the other side of Santana came out, the super emotional, insecure girl. Hence the hug."

"Wow. So her and Brittany have been hooking up ever since seventh grade? And they aren't dating?" Rachel says, incredulous. "That's practically a common law marriage."

She shrugs. "And now you are officially in the same line of thinking with the rest of the school." Her eyes flick down to her watch. "Glee's over now. You want to go get our stuff?"

Rachel nods, falling into step beside Quinn wordlessly. The blonde looks over at her thoughtfully. "You okay?"

"I guess," she says flatly. "I just...how long did Finn and I date."

Quinn stops walking. "You sure you want to talk about this?" With me, she adds silently.

"No." Rachel resumes walking. "But I just broke up with the guy, so...yes..."

"Well if you ignore all the weekly break ups and make ups..." She looks to the ceiling as she mentally calculates. "Probably a year give or take." Wow, putting it into words really makes her realize how long Rachel hasn't been hers.

"And I just...Oh god..."

Quinn reaches out and puts a gentle hand on Rachel's shoulder. "Hey, just because what you did was hard, doesn't mean it wasn't right. Finn isn't perfect," even if old Rachel thought he was, "and yes he loves you, but what you said is right. It's not fair to either of you to be held down by this.

"Maybe once you get settled in better, who knows..." God, why was she saying this?

"I suppose," Rachel says, and Quinn is grateful the Glee captain doesn't say anything else on it. Sheesh not sure she has any lies left in her.

They walk into Glee, and Quinn is relieved that everyone but Mr. Schue has left. He greets them gently, and Quinn appreciates him giving them privacy. Despite his flaws, she's always been grateful for how he treats his students.

Mr. Schue hands them their bags with a warm smile, giving an extra smile for Rachel as he says, "Whenever you're ready, Rachel." He leans down to her and whispers something, and Quinn tries to see what he says but judging Rachel's reaction, but the small girl seems as confused as Quinn.

The pair walks out with a last goodbye to Mr. Schue, and once they're back in the hallway, Quinn turns to Rachel. "What did Mr. Schue say?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that already." She sheepishly smiles. "He said to check my bag." She flips her book bag around and unzips it, reaching inside.

Quinn leans closer to, peering inside the bright pink bag. "Well?"

Rachel holds up a CD case to Quinn, looking to see if it means anything to the cheerleader. Both girls look at it, seeing no title to give away what might be on it. They share a shrug.

"Maybe it's a mix tap of Mr. Schue's freestyle," Quinn suggests, only half serious.

"But why would he give me that?"

"Who knows?" the blonde shrugs. "Maybe for when you're on Broadway, you can put in a good word for him?" She watches Rachel look at her strangely. "What?"

"I just don't think I'll ever get tired of you talking about me being on Broadway." Quinn flushes. "I mean I know my dads tell me that's my dream and what I've always wanted, but to hear you say it...I don't know."

"Anyway," she says, face still heated. "Pop it in on the way home and let me know what it is. Maybe it's his love confession."

Rachel blanches. "Okay, I hardly know Mr. Schue and that's just plain gross! I mean he's young and not bad looking, but still!"

Quinn chooses not to inform Rachel of the momentary crush the small girl had on their teacher.

"How am I supposed to let you know?" Rachel says suddenly.

"Huh?"

Rachel looks strangely shy. "Well you said for me to let you know, and it's Friday so I won't see you till Monday, so...how would I let you know? What if I forget?"

She desperately prays that her pale skin hides her coloring cheeks as she realizes what Rachel is hinting at. You'd think she was thirteen and not going on eighteen.

"Here, hand me your phone," she says evenly, like her heart isn't going through palpitations at the mere thought. Her fingers speed over the keys confidently, and she's proud to say she doesn't tremble too much.

"Okay," Rachel says softly. "Thanks."

Quinn hands Rachel her phone back, feeling like everything is suddenly in slow motion. Rachel's deep brown eyes meet her own, and her heart clenches and her brain can't help but freeze this moment, like it's so much more than just friends exchanging numbers.

And maybe it is.

She's really never been a huge fan of maybes, though. They're too uncertain. She was raised by her parents- father – to see the world in black and white. But she doesn't want change.

Because Quinn feels like she's right in the middle, uncertain. Though not completely uncertain. Because she _knows_ with absolute clarity that she's falling.

She's just not sure if it's head first or feet first.

* * *

A_:N/ Hope you guys weren't disappointed with the end of Finchel. Finn won't be just disappearing, but I also wasn't going to drag out their relationship for ten more chapters. Besides, I feel like with Finn's personality and Rachel's lack of Prince Finn attitude, this would be a logical conclusion. And I wanted to make it some what realistic without trashing Finn completely. But we shall see._


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: **To make up for the delay, this is pretty much a 98% Quinn and Rachel chapter. I found my softer side winning out as I typed this, and I figured with the Finchel break up, this was long over due anyway. Thanks for all your lovely reviews! I cannot thank you guys enough for the support and wonderful comments. It's great motivation, truly. I will start working on the next chapter, to make it longer (I do take reviews in to account, I promise) and to be quicker on the update. Promise!  
_

* * *

**Chapter 9  
**

Her phone stayed by her side all weekend. Quinn would like to say she didn't spend all her time waiting by it, and, in a way, that's true; she did leave it to go to the bathroom and to eat. In a way she's glad she didn't receive any texts, because she's not sure she would have been able to handle it.

She walks into the paint chipped doors of McKinley and immediately begins searching for Rachel. It's moments like this she regrets not asking for Rachel's number in return, even if she would have been too nervous to use it. Now, she's forced to wait and see when and and where she'll see the Jewish girl.

Santana saunters over to her, Brittany predictably following by their joint pinkies. "Sup, Q?"

"Hey Quinn," Brittany says happily, throwing her arms around the other blonde. Quinn doesn't think she'll ever get used to Brittany's insistence on hugging Quinn like she hasn't seen her in months, instead of just a short weekend.

"Hey," Quinn replies, trying not to let her eyes wander. Santana is like a shark with things like that, and Quinn does not want to go there, and certainly not with Santana of all people.

"Did you hear about Rachel and Finn?" Brittany asks.

"Totally splitsville. Wonder how long it'll last this time?"

Quinn rolls her eyes at Santana. "Yeah, I did. How did you hear about it?"

"Kurt," both girls answer, and Quinn isn't surprised Kurt knows. Even if he wasn't Finn's step brother, he always manages to be in on all the gossip.

"Think Hudson got irritated she didn't remember that she kissed the ground he walked on?" Santana picks at her nails as if she really couldn't care less, though Quinn know she's as eager to learn more as any of them.

"It's good they broke up then," Brittany says. "That sounds really dirty for a relationship." She pauses. "And not the good kind of dirty, either."

Santana squeezes the taller girl's hand. "Let's not talk about the dirty things Berry and Finnept got up to. I don't like to think of leprechauns and farm animals doing each other."

Quinn scrunches her face in disgust, though she's not sure if it's because of what Santana just said or the image of Finn and Rachel being together like _that_. "The things that pop out of your mouth are always a mystery," she tells the Latina. The brunette beams proudly.

"Anyway," Quinn continues, "why are we talking about this?" She's had years of Finn and Rachel, and now that they're over, she doesn't think they should still be including the two in the same sentence.

"Whatevs," Santana shrugs. "That convo was getting boring anyway. Talking about Finn could cause anyone to throw up."

Says the girl who slept with him, Quinn thinks smugly to herself.

"We'll see you at lunch, Quinn. Santana is going to walk me to class. I got lost last time."

Quinn really shouldn't be shocked by anything her friends say or do, but she's always proven wrong. She's not sure how Brittany can still get lost when they've been in school for months, but, it _is_ Brittany.

Santana flashes two fingers. "Deuces."

The blonde rolls her eyes, allowing Santana her Lima Heights Adjacent moment as the girls, once again, link fingers and walk in the opposite direction.

She sighs when she realizes she didn't get to see Rachel. Not that they made plans, but it just happened to become a bit of a routine that they would stop and talk for a few minutes in the morning before going to their respective classes. It was enough to get Quinn through until the next time they got to speak. And she ignores how much of a Shakespeare character that makes her.

She follows the rush of students making their way through the door into English, all of them dispersing into their assigned seats. Her fellow Cheerios greet her, and Quinn knows it's all fake so she mutters an echoing fake greeting and sits down, getting out her notebook as the teacher walks in and immediately goes over to the board.

"Good morning every one," he says, looking around for acknowledgment. "Today we will be starting our month long tribute to-" His hand grabs a marker and scribbles furiously on the board. "Shakespeare!"

Quinn sinks bank into her seat with a sigh.

Go figure.

* * *

The bell rings to end third period, and Quinn lingers behind as the students practically stampede toward the cafeteria to get in the lunch line first. She's not sure why they are in such a hurry. Short of it being taco day, every other lunch McKinley has is, predictably, crappy and usually unrecognizable.

She passes by the room to Glee and stops as something catches her eye. With interest, she turns and looks inside the classroom, expecting Mr. Schue to be practicing his dancing, or perhaps rehearsing lines to woo Ms. Pillsbury with.

Her stomach flips when she sees it's not Mr. Schue like she thought but Rachel. Quinn can't see her face from outside the room so she has no idea what the girl is doing, but she's always eager for any interaction with Rachel, especially one on one, so she opens the door softly and steps in.

Rachel's eyes immediately look her way, and Quinn can see she's been crying. "Quinn."

Hearing her own name shouldn't cause such a reaction, it really shouldn't. "Hey," she says back, walking further into the room. She nudges her elbow in Rachel's direction. "Are...are you okay?"

"I'm not sure. I just..." She holds up the CD from last week. "I wanted to listen to this. I tried listening to it but every time I'd go to put in in my player, I'd panic and couldn't do it."

Quinn nods in understanding. She can see how it would be hard for Rachel, not knowing what to expect and having that pressure on her. "Well I'll let you listen to it. I'll see you in Glee." She doesn't let Rachel see how much her body contradicts her words.

"Stay," Rachel offers softly. "I think having you here will make it easier."

The cheerleader nods silently and sits down in a chair on the front row. She watches with barely masked anticipation as Rachel walks over to the CD player and pops the disk in. Once Rachel presses play, they both wait with bated breaths.

The few seconds of silence at the beginning seem to last forever, and then Quinn is smiling widely when she finally hears it.

It's a recording of Rachel singing.

Her flawless voice fills the small room, and Quinn can't help but smile in appreciation of their Glee teacher. For all his faults, Mr. Schue cares for his students and does what he can to help them. She's not surprised he's kept a recording of Rachel's songs -probably upon Rachel's ushering – and wouldn't be shocked to find that he has the other members' songs on CD as well.

She turns to see Rachel's eyes closing and head tilting back slightly as she lets the music over take her. Quinn understands the feeling; she gets like that when she hears Rachel sing as well.

"I- that's me," Rachel says slowly, not as a question, but she still sounds like she can't believe it.

Quinn nods with a small smile. "It is."

"I just- wow- I mean I just can't believe this is me. "I had my thoughts on what would be on the CD but it still didn't prepare me." She sniffs slightly as her eyes flutter.

"Is it...too much?"

The Glee captain breathes out softly. "Yeah, it is. But-" she adds, when she sees Quinn get up to turn it off, "it's so surreal to hear and I want to keep listening."

The blonde nods and turns back to sit down next to Rachel, letting the diva's powerful voice overwhelm her as well. She wants to close her eyes and just let it flow into her but she doesn't want to miss any of Rachel's reactions, so she compromises by sliding forward slightly and leaning back against the chair.

It's a bit nostalgic, listening to the songs being played back. Mr. Schue seemed to have put great care into the CD, because it's categorized by year, every solo and group number that Rachel has been a part of, or so Quinn assumes as they make it through what she remembers as being several sophomore year songs.

She almost falls out of her chair when she hears the begin notes to the next song. It's a song she knows she won't forget, and it always brings such bittersweet memories with it. Without her permission, her mouth knowingly forms the words:

_Keep holding on_

_'Cause you know we'll make it through_

_Just stay strong_

_'Cause you know I'm here for you_

This time it's Rachel who is turning to watch Quinn carefully as the cheerleader starts to tear up. She's assaulted so quickly with everything Beth that she can't breathe for a few seconds; images of a perfect baby girl coming from an imperfect Quinn. When Quinn does allow herself to think of Beth, it's usually in more of a detached sense, the realization that while Beth isn't with her, she's obviously well loved by Shelby, though that knowledge is as comforting as it is painful.

But hearing this song, after so long...Quinn doesn't think of her baby being with Shelby, she just thinks of Beth not being with her. Of the significance the song had when she first found out she was pregnant and had given no real consideration to keeping a baby. But, somehow, those first few weeks of being pregnant became months, and a baby became Beth, and Beth became Quinn's.

This is supposed to be about Rachel, she tries to remind herself. But in a twisted way, this is about Rachel, because in the soap opera that is Quinn's life, Beth is Rachel's sister – or, more accurately, her replacement – and they both are twisted together in something other than boys for once.

It isn't until she feels a hand on her shoulder that she realizes that Rachel has been watching her since the first tear dropped, eyes obviously asking what's wrong but thankfully the shorter girl remains quiet. Quinn tries to wipe her eyes as best as she can without making smearing her make up.

"Sorry," she breathes out, "it's just...this song is kind of a big deal to me. Obviously," she says with a sarcastic, short laugh.

"Oh...Did you want me to skip to the next song?"

"No." Quinn shakes her head quickly. "I know it sounds strange, with how upset I got, but...it's such a great song. It just reminds me about Beth. My daughter. I had – uh- just found out I was pregnant and you got the others together to sing this song for me. Well, and for Finn."

The small smile that had been on Rachel's face as Quinn recalls the memory fades quickly. "Wait...you and Finn had a daughter together?" Quinn nods. "The same Finn I was dating?"

It's a totally inappropriate response, given the seriousness of the moment, but she can't help the laughter that spills out of her. "I'm sorry," she says with a small smile in apology, "it sounds awful, especially because you don't remember...but in a way, yes, that same Finn. But to make a whole lot of drama short and to not have to bring it back up fully..."

Rachel turns to face her fully, eyes alight with curiosity, eager to learn more about Quinn. "Yes," she presses.

Quinn takes a deep breath, folding her hands in her lap as she stares at the piano in front of her before facing Rachel in kind. "I was with Finn a few years ago, purely for popularity purposes; head cheerleader and quarterback dating and all that jazz. Anyway, we were dating, I was stupid and unhappy and vengeful and tired of pressure and Finn and life and so I slept with Puck, who was Finn's best friend, and of course because I have awful luck and had so much karma waiting in line, and was stupid, I got pregnant.

"Finn assumed it was his, mostly because I _told_ him it was, and everyone found out and you had the club sing this song just as a reminder that even though he and I were being judged by everyone, you guys were here for us."

"I- I just...I mean...just wow, Quinn," Rachel finally manages, and her inability to articulate properly makes Quinn smile.

"Yeah," she laughs, "heavy. But all that aside, it's just a symbolic song and it always makes think of Be-of _Her_ and just gets me emotional. Good and bad."

For probably the hundredth time, Rachel sits back to take all the information in. If Rachel wasn't so eager to learn more, Quinn would probably feel more guilty about always having something heavy to unload on the poor girl. "Not to keep making you talk about this, but-" she bites her lip.

"It's okay," Quinn assures her. "You're allowed to ask about her." She notices Rachel hasn't commented on her refusals to say her daughter's name.

"Well," Rachel smooths her skirt down, "it's just that you said you bullied me and what not until recently..." Quinn nods with downcast eyes. "But then you just said I got the club to sing this song for you...Why?"

If that isn't a question Quinn has asked herself so many times about the actions of Rachel, specifically the actions pertaining to Quinn. Why, indeed?

"Because as awful as I was to you, Rachel, you were always thirty times the person I could ever hope to be."

There's more to it than that, but she's not sure how to put it into words. When she writes, the words seem to flow freely, but speaking...her mind is so used to calculating and measuring each word, that she's not sure she really knows how to just let it fall out naturally.

Rachel smiles at her. "Well it's hard for me to believe that that Quinn is around any more."

Quinn feels her own lips quirk in response. "See? Thirty times, Rachel."

They stay smiling for a few moments longer, and Quinn feels so warm in this moment, the beautiful sound of Rachel's voice echoing around them as the share this moment. Quinn thinks she'd happily have a break down if it meant having this time with the other girl. She finally looks away when she feels like her eyes will start confessing held back secrets between their shared gazes, and she shyly reaches down and tightens the strings on her (of course) perfect Cheerio shoes.

The girls sit in companionable silence, Rachel glowing with each song that plays, though Quinn can see that it is slightly overwhelming the brunette. Quinn is glowing as well (thankfully not as noticeably), but hers is probably due to the close contact of their bodies, far enough that they aren't exactly touching, but close enough to feel that excited desire churning in her stomach to be just a fraction of an inch closer. It's as exciting as it is dangerous, feeling this way around Rachel.

Another smile breaks through Quinn's face as the opening notes of another favorite plays through the speakers. She flashes back to the moments leading up to this song; a doctor's office, a bathroom – though that could be any number of her memories with Rachel. She starts when she hears Rachel gasp next to her.

"What?" Quinn says with concern over Rachel's sudden reaction.

"I just...I just had a quick flash...just for a moment," Rachel says so quickly and excitedly but still so detached like her mouth is processing so much slower than her brain is firing.

Quinn sits up quickly. "A memory?" She tries to keep her tone light.

"Mhm. Yeah. I can't believe it, Quinn!" Rachel stands up, eyes shining, and if Quinn thought Rachel was glowing before, she must just be absolutely radiant now.

"That's amazing!" Quinn breathes out happily, standing up as well. "I knew this would happen soon. Do you know what it was?"

Rachel is humming with excitement as she hops from foot to foot. "I don't know for sure what the whole memory is, but it was this song. You and me, singing it for the club, our first timing singing with each other. And, and...and," she scrunches her face, searching, "and something about my nose..."

Quinn feels like she could burst into a million pieces right along with Rachel. It's Rachel's first real memory, and it's one with her! "Yeah. Yeah!" she says again, her voice getting louder as her excitement seeps through. "You were wanting to get your nose fixed after it got messed up in Glee and you asked me if I'd go with you and...and oh my god, this is so awesome, Rachel!" Quinn doesn't thinks she's ever felt so giddy.

She's not really sure who moves first, but she knows it doesn't matter because whoever it was, they both slide their arms around each other and hold tight, bodies shaking with happiness. And it doesn't matter that this is only their second hug, because Quinn has new-found appreciation for muscle memory -or maybe just her body's _Rachel_ memory- and her arms hold Rachel like they've done this all along. But the longer she holds Rachel against her, the more she realizes that it's not that her body is reacting like it has done this all along; rather, it's reacting like this is what it was made to do all along.

And with Rachel laughing into her shoulder, her sweet scent surrounding her just like _their_ song is (so appropriately, really), Quinn thinks that maybe Rachel isn't the only one who is gaining memories.


End file.
